(Closed) Family Only Photos

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

just be blunt.  they are your photos, that you are paying for.

Post # 3
Member
13930 posts
Honey Beekeeper

You have the photographer issue instructions, for example “just family now” or “now the aunts and uncles.” If it will really help avoid awkwardness take one or two photos with him and all the rest without. 

But it may not even be an issue. 

Post # 4
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Have the photographer, or someone in the wedding party (we had a groomsman) armed with a list of exactly whose in what photos and get them to call them out before each one (eg Father of the bride, mother of the bride, Aunty xx, Grandma) etc

Post # 5
Member
644 posts
Busy bee

We have one of these in my family, too.  It’s been a thing for so long that we call him “MFL” for “My Friend Larry”.  At my wedding, we gave the photographer notecards for each photo group to make it easier.  My family is huge, so hearing their actual name called out over the rest of the talking got  people moving better than “dad’s side of the family”.  It sounded a lot like, “John, Mary, and Allison, come get your picture with the bride and groom, please!” 

Post # 6
Member
3187 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
ohana33 :  give your photographer a list of names for Ll shots, rather than relationship. So the shot is “Anna, bill, Charlie, dana” etc rather than “family” “aunts and uncles”

Post # 7
Member
1085 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Ooh that’s a tough one!

My fiancé and I recently had a talk with our photographer about how to handle something similar. His suggestion was to take two versions of the pic — one with the significant other (for lack of a better word, in this case haha) and then one without so that you can save face and not cause drama, but then also not be forced to have that person in your pics, since you can privately delete that shot later.

Just a thought, but at the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you shouldn’t feel obligated to have anyone in your pics who you don’t want!

Post # 8
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I had a similar problem at my wedding. I took pictures with and without the individual included. At one point during family pictures I also had a spot for my family member’s significant others to come up and have a photo with the family. Everyone felt included and I still got my “true family” pictures.

Post # 9
Member
2544 posts
Sugar bee

Is he her date to the wedding? If not I don’t imagine it would be a problem.

When we did ours, we gave the photographer and day of coordinator a list of the specific names of people and they were the ones to gather them up. You can also do ‘with dates’ and then ‘without dates’ photos if necessary. 

It may not even be an issue though. It would be very weird for him to presume to be in the photos when they’re not even in a realtionship, no matter how close they are as friends. it’s very well known that being included in family photos is only for serious relationship/marriages. 

 

Post # 10
Member
427 posts
Helper bee

Your concerns are completely reasonable. Family wedding photos should only include spouses and long term relationships. I like 

View original reply
catskillsinjune : ‘s idea. 

Post # 11
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Our photographer asked for a list of names and group photos we wanted, and she called people out by name. She also asked if there were any sticky family situations she should know about! So your photographer can probably handle this one!

Post # 13
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Ours asked for our shot list and called out exact names so there would be no grey areas (eg. Does “cousins” mean just first cousins or first and second and what about the spouses?)

Post # 14
Member
2722 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We also did a list with specific names to avoid any confusion.  If he’s just your aunt-in-law’s friend, I think he should realize he’s not to be in any family photos.

Post # 15
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
ohana33 :  I would just not have him in any.  If she is not in a relationship with him and they are not devoted to being together and you have no relationship with him outside of his friendship with your aunt then no photos.  Sorry I’m a big fan of people feeling like family.  And if he doesn’t feel like famiyl to yall then don’t have him in it.

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