- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hello fellow Bees! I have been engaged for only a month and will have a 2 year engagement…already some family issues are cropping up!! Hopefully this makes sense.
Here is some back story…
My aunt and 3 girl cousins (they are sisters) have been giving my family a VERY hard time for the past year. My aunt and uncle have fallen on very hard times and have almost lost their house several times…somehow they get the money and are still living at home. My aunt blames my mom for their hard times because my dad earns more money than my uncle (figure that one out!). My cousins, who I used to be VERY close with, have turned into such B****** and critisize my mom and I at every chance. Most of it is done via facebook. Some of the things they have said about myself and my mom are so horible my cousin M cried. Cousin M found what they said on FB and bawled for hours because she was so upset at what they said about my family. My aunt even went as far as bad-mouthing my family to her brother (my mom’s brother too) who in turn will never speak with my family. The sad part is, he is the dad of my younest cousin, who is now 5. My 5 YO cousin doesn’t know who I am when I do see her and believes that she only has 3 cousins (the 3 that bad mouth my family). 5 YO cousin is not involved in the wedding, I would have had her be a flower girl, but she doesn’t even know I’m related to her, and this is because of her father not allowing her to see my family.
Anyway, the verbal abuse has been so brutal that I made the decision not to invite them to the wedding, I know its still 2 years away, but that’s my decision as of now. My thought is, why should I invite them to a most special and happy day in my life if all they do is talk about me?
Fiance has 3 younger cousins who are not very well behaved, so he asked if we could have our wedding as 16 and over so that his younger cousins would not be there. I am perfectly ok with this, but this leaves out my 5 YO cousin. She will be the only one (besides my 3 cousins and their parents) not invited to the wedding. My mom is not happy with the decision, but is standing behind our decision to have a 16 and over wedding. She believes that because 5 YO cousin will be left out, the verbal abuse will get worse and she thinks she will lose a brother and sister.
I do not feel like I should tell 5 YO’s dad that its ok for her to come when it is not ok for FI’s cousins to come…that is not fair. So…What do I do!?! I am perfectly fine not having 5 YO cousin there (she doesn’t know me anyway) or the cousins and aunt and uncle who abuse my family at the wedding. But my mom is very upset about the whole situation. What should I do??