(Closed) Family problems already! (Long)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry you have to deal with all that family drama! Regarding your question, would your 5YO’s cousin’s parents even allow her to come to the wedding if they won’t let you have a relationship with her? If they don’t, this isn’t really an issue, right? If they would let her come, maybe you can make her a flower girl – I think “no children except the bridal party” is an acceptable guest list rule. 

Post # 4
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well, first, if the 5yo’s father isn’t speaking to you guys and won’t let his daughter see you, I don’t know why he would accept if you invited him to your wedding.  It sucks that he is believing all this negative stuff, and I can see your mom’s point of view that she doesn’t want to make the situation even worse.

So realistically, you can probably send the whole family an invite, including the child, and they will turn it down.  That way you guys have done all you can to keep the peace (even though this whole thing was not your doing in the first place) but you in all likelihood still wont have to worry about the child being there.  If they DO accept, you could always ask her to be the flower girl.  This could also be a way of extending the olive branch, and having an opportunity to get to know her a little better.  People frequently make exceptions to the adults only rule for kids in the wedding party so that wouldn’t look strange either.

And ultimately I think you should wait on making any firm decisions.  It’s a long time away, and you don’t know what will happen in the next two years.  Hey, maybe your FI’s cousins will grow up a bit and turn into perfect little angels 😉

Post # 6
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

That is weird!  But maybe having her as a flower girl will give you a chance to form an independent relationship with her outside of her parents.  I mean, you’ll have to take her shopping for her dress and all 😉  And it’s really sad, because it’s not her fault her parents are like that.

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