(Closed) Family Problems with the Wedding

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee

@JBridalBird:  Why don’t you do something in town that they can be a part of? Just a nice dinner or something simple.

I don’t want to come off as trashing destination weddings, but I thought the exotic trip for a bride and groom was called a “honeymoon.” 

If you really truly want your family to be a part of it, there’s definitely a way. Even if you do a backyard BBQ reception. That way they can all be a part of your celebration AND it won’t cost you and arm and a leg! (unless it’s a LEG of lamb or something..) 

Post # 4
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

I have to admit that this part made me scratch my head a bit:

“Dad is sick and not financially fit. He probably shouldn’t travel and we have to pay to get him there”

If your father is sick and should not be travelling, why on earth would you be planning a destination wedding and then complaining that he may not be able to attend for financial reasons?  If he should not be travelling – then he should NOT be travelling! Am I missing something here?

Post # 6
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I was just in a similar situation. We really wanted to get married in Hawaii and went through so much planning… but then realized how much of a logistical nightmare it will be to get everyone there. So we decided to scrap that idea, get married here and honeymoon in Hawaii instead. At first I was kind of disappointed but now I’m SO excited and I can’t wait! I’m super happy that everyone will be able to come and celebrate with us and we’re not asking too much of them.

My first wedding was a destination wedding in Jamaica and the AI trip was ~$3,000/person. We had a lot of people decline because it was too expensive, but we expected that and understood.

Post # 8
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Destination weddings are always like this. Just keep planning because it is what you want.  Whoever can make it will and whoever doesn’t oh well.  My fiance wanted a destination wedding and when I pointed out that none of his family would be able to make it he didn’t care, and I think you may have to adopt this same “I don’t care if you come or not” attitude.

Post # 9
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

When I was planning a DW, I was positive that my dad was not flying out.  He was too ill with cancer.  Later we actually cancelled the entire thing because the wedding was in 5 months, but he was given 4-6 months to live.  He died at the 4 month mark sadly.  If he did not have that short time frame, I probably would have gone on with the DW most likely and maybe had it recorded? 

 

Some dads don’t care about weddings.  Some families don’t care about weddings either.  Some couples know this and get married where they want because that is actually more important. 

 

My dad told me to get married wherever I wanted, don’t change plans for him by any means.  He told me my whole life that weddings are a pain the ass for everyone involved, do everyone a favor and just elope.  So with that said, why on earth would I move it to the flat state of Indiana where he was if we truly wanted to get married in the mountains?

 

I just felt like I had to represent this side of it.

Post # 10
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

OP I had sisters and a mother that could not travel either (this was well after dad has passed away).  One was broke, one had no vacation days, one just didn’t like weddings or flying.  I think I controlled the disappointment of them not showing by removing it from the equation and not inviting them.

 

We just eloped and went wherever we wanted to go and that was the Canadian Rockies.  I think of it as doing them all a favor!   We saved enough money that we could fly to all the would be wedding guests (of the DW I was palnning above) and spend quality time with those friends.  We have 2 more states to tick off the list.

Post # 11
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am a nurse, if your Dad is on dialysis- depending on his diagnosis,he shouldn’t be travelling to Jamaica-in Hurrican Season. I understand why people want destination weddings but sometimes they create obstacles for family members. Maybe you could elope in Jamaica and come back and have a party

Post # 12
Member
5245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@JBridalBird:  I had two ceremonies to satisfy everyone. We first had a wedding ceremony and family dinner in our hometown as my fiances grandparents are not able to travel and most of the family was not coming to the destination wedding. I wore a different dress to the hometown ceremony( it was actually an indian sari because of my husbands culture). We then had our wedding in Cuba a week later and had 67 of our friends and family come down with us where we had another ceremony and a reception. It al lworked out amzingly well and everyone was happy 🙂

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