Post # 1
I am very closed with my family on my father’s side. They have 2 big houses built in a big lot in the country, one next to the other and I used to live there with them for almost 4 years.
My father, 2 uncles, my grandmother, and an aunt live in one house and a cousin, his wife, their son, their daughter and their grandchild live in the other house.
Some of them do not get along very well, in fact, one of my uncles had an argument with my cousin and his wife a few months ago and even police was called and a restraining order was filed.
We are having a wedding reception at a hotel which Fiance is paying and is costing several thousand $ and although they are my family and I get along very well with them, I DO NOT WANT an altercation on my wedding , which could happen if I invite them.
I was planning only to invite my dad and do not let the rest of the family know of the wedding reception, I plan to tell them that we will just be going to the church office with our pastor and get marry with our parents and sibblings.
I think that they will not know that we will have a wedding reception at a Hotel because I will not invite anyone that they might know.
Is it ok? What would you do?
Post # 2
Will anyone be posting photos on Facebook or Twitter or anything?
What if you hired a security guard, and they saw the guard when they arrived?
Post # 3
Word travels fast, especially in families, and you have to think what will happen when the others find out either before or after your wedding.
Personally I’d go with the small ceremony and skip the reception, if an altercation is that likely.
Post # 4
I have a feeling they’re going to find out about the reception in some way or another. If you’re not comfortable inviting them, then that’s completely up to you. I only know of your family dynamics from your post which is not enough to really gauge if they would behave at the reception. Judging from the restraining order situation, I’m guessing not. I’m inviting some relatives that do not get along, but they are more the type to stay away from one another to keep the peace than cause a commotion. If you do choose not to invite them and lie about the reason, be prepared on them finding out about it. There’s not much they can do at that point, but they may hold a grudge.
Post # 5
They WILL find out. Seat them on different ends of the room and have a discussion beforehand. “This is our special day and we’d really like it if you could put your differences aside for just one night. If not, you will be asked to leave”.
Post # 6
If you aren’t inviting them, there’s no reason to tell any of them anything. If anyone puts you on the spot, just say you are keeping it to immediate family and some friends. I’m sure they can figure out why.
Post # 7
Thnak you bees you are right… they will find out!
Post # 8
I think that I will do this