Post # 1
The boyfriend and I have been talking more and more about marriage and a family so I guess I’m waiting (although not at all impatiently, it’s early days yet). It’s been very casual thus far, talking about friends’ weddings, where and when we might do it, (I’m from country A, he’s from country B, we live in country C), meeting my family, his excitement about seeing me in a beautiful white dress, him in a tophat and tails (no) or a kilt (also, no), jokey stuff about our adorablefuture kids.
It’s fantastic, I love this man more than anything and while I’m definitely not in any rush, the day he asks me to marry him will be the happiest day of my life. I love that this is a decision we’re slowly building up to together, discussing openly rather than wondering or worrying. (We had had a rather cryptic conversation about ‘settling down’ and ‘future things’ and then I got tipsy on Pimms and said, ‘does this mean marriage? does this mean fat little babies?’ and he said, ‘yes to all of the above!’)
Which brings me to the ring. It is absolutely his decision and he could give me a bit of string and I will love and cherish it. But…. I have a ring, it was my beloved great grandmothers and she gave it to me recently. I’ve been obsessed with this ring, it’s not particularly fancy or expensive but it is beautiful and I love it. I was given it a few years back and never put it on my finger because it didn’t quite feel appropriate, something was holding me back. I’d love to wear this ring. My grandmother has also offered up a diamond at some future point and the combined setting would be beautiful.
Is this done? I hear about groom’s family rings but from the brides? Is this weird? I can’t imagine us spending a significant sum when I have something beautiful / meaningful / that I adore. I’d rather put money towards the mortgage.
Should I tell him that it’s in my parents’ safe and if it is of interest, to speak with my mom?
For the record, the ring looks a bit like this:
Post # 3
How lovely that you have a meaningful piece of heritage jewelry! I think it would make a great engagement/wedding ring.
I would wait to bring it up, but the next time the topic comes up, you might suggest it and see how your boyfriend feels. He might really want to buy you a ring he helps choose, but he might also be delighted to use your family pieces and put the money he would have spent on a ring toward a nest egg/down payment on a house/etc. for you guys instead.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
YUP do exactly that! That’s what I did – my grandmother left me her gorgeous wedding set, and I really wanted that for a) sentimental reasons and b) financial reasons (FI isn’t at the point in his career where he has much extra money yet). My guy isn’t one to feel the need to purchase a ring to show his love and committment, so it worked out well.
I basically was like, “Just so you know, I have these rings and it would mean a lot to me to wear them as engagement / wedding rings… they’re in my parents safe…” (He is very close with my parents.)
Some time passed and little did I know, he went and asked my parents for their blessing and for the rings.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
I’d like to use a family ring when the time came, and they’d be rings from my family – I don’t think his has any. Unfortunately (?) he told me that we wouldn’t be needing something like that so I guess it’s not an option XD I’m sure I’ll be happy with whatever 🙂
Generally I think that if there is something you’d like to do you should just do it (unless you’re a psychopath lol). So if the two of you are happy using one of your family rings then you should!
Post # 6
Neither my mother nor her mother had engagement rings (rather, they got engagement sewing machines!), so while I love the idea of using a family ring, it’s not an option for me. I always get a little wistful and jealous when lucky girls like you mention heirloom jewelry in the family! Definitely bring it up with your boyfriend, or slip in a little hint if he happens to mention getting engaged. I think it’s lovely to have such a meaningful ring.
Post # 7
I love the idea of using a family ring, whichever side it comes from. I inherited my great aunt’s engagement ring – it’s a simple yellow gold trilogy ring, but I’d love to wear it.
In fact I was trying to work out how to drop it in to conversation sometime, but I got distracted by pretty champagne sapphires, and I’m torn (and want both!!)
Post # 8
I was given a diamond when I was born from a great uncle. My mom has been using it as her wedding set for the past 27-ish years, but that is my diamond to use for my choosing. I asked her for it earlier this year when they moved. My boyfriend and I are going to put it in a setting and use that. It’s sentimental and also a great choice for us money-wise!
Post # 9
Definately talk to him! My grandmother’s father had given his wife a gorgeous diamond ring that has been passed down to the oldest daugher. My mom uses it now (and is keeping till i’m older and less clumsy about jewelry:) ). I couldn’t imagine getting my fiance to spend that much on an engagement ring when I knew I have a gorgeous diamond family ring that I’ll eventually be getting. He appreciated the input and we opted to get a moissanite.
Post # 10
Thanks everyone! My mom talked to my grandma and it was apparently my great aunt’s ring, inherited my my great grandma!
I will casually bring it up!