Post # 1
Ok Bees I need advice/help please!
Backstory: My mom has 3 siblings, an older sister and brother and a younger sister. There is a long lived rivalry between my mom and her younger sister constant jabs and plain meanness from the little sis and the random biting remark from my mom. My aunt has taken it so far as to treat me and my younger sister poorly, making fat comments to me since I could remember and dumb comments to my sister because she is blonde. My aunt’s kids are no angels either and they seem to think there is a rivalry between us because our moms compete. Even going so far as to at our grandfather’s funeral the oldest one was walking around barefoot and laughing out loud and flirting/making out shamelessly with her boyfriend while the younger sat in a corner bawling her eyes out and yelling at anyone who tried to comfort her. While we have never gotten along with these girls my sis and I have done a great job of not buying into the garbage until…
The Problem: I found out last night that my aunt’s oldest daughter (19) is pregnant and due about a month and a half after our wedding. Which means she will be about 6 months pregnant and presumably big as a house at my bridal shower. Now I know this was an “unplanned” pregnancy but when the first question she asked after announcing it was “So can we do a joint shower for your wedding and my pregnancy?” I will admit I wanted to deck her. Thank god my godmother is planning that shower and she and my mom wont let that happen but I can’t help but think that the attention at my shower wont be on me. And I can’t wait to hear what kind of hell will be raised if I have something already scheduled on the weekend of her shower and I am unable to attend. Sorry but I have had some of these plans made for well over a year and I am not putting my wedding stuff on hold because you accidentally reproduced. I feel like a horrible person for being as upset as I am but I can’t help it.
So please help me! Am I crazy for being upset that this chronic scene stealer is doing that again? Am I right in wanting to have a seperate shower so that the focus can be on my first big special event? Any advice is welcome!
Post # 3
@Riot: I agree that you should have a separate shower. I understand she has done a lot of scene stealing in the past, and this is just another kick in the bucket, but focus on your upcoming events and your happiness. She didn’t intentionally get pregnant to steal the spotlight from you, but she shouldn’t have tried to get your events to also be about her. Like I said, just move forward with your events and be kind but firm with her should she press the matter.
Post # 4
The act of pregnancy isn’t scene stealing, I always think thats such a reach when I read that on here. But to suggest a combo shower is insane. If you can’t make it. Oh well. Seems like there will be drama no matter what you do, so why make yourself miserable
Post # 5
I’d give a big “F*ck NO!” to the joint shower suggestion. Even if you were on great terms with this cousin, your shower should be about celebrating your marriage not the unplanned pregnancy of your cousin. She can have her own shower that’s all about her.
Post # 6
If you is a “scene stealer” I would have your bridal party on alert to keep her in check during the shower. I’m just paranoid LOL but I’ve seen damage people can do at weddings, showers et al.
Post # 7
Thanks bees! I really appreciate all the advice! I hear ya @LuvMySailor:!
@bklynbridetobe: I didn’t mean to imply that her pregnancy is scene stealing by any means. Just that she has a history of making events that are not about her all about her by throwing hissy fits. If she is happy about the pregnancy great I support her and will be happy for her too, but I am concerned that she will mysteriously have labor pains or some other mysterious pregnancy issue during the shower and the wedding to draw attention to herself.
Post # 8
I’m going to say “no” to the joint shower.
A.) It’s fine to ask someone to join your shower, but it’s quite rude to ask to join someone else’s shower. I can see two people having a double baby shower or a double wedding shower, but only if they decide that together. No piggy backing someone else’s day.
B.) It’s a little odd to have a joint baby and wedding shower (unless it’s for the same person) because they’re celebrating two different things and tend to flow differently.