(Closed) Family saying mean things behind my back about my DW

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry you’re having a rough time.  I’m almost  100% positive when they say it’s expensive, they mean it’s expensive for them to fly their (they are unlikely to know/care how much you are spending).  Even if you don’t expect them to fly there, they may still be disappointed they can’t make it.  They don’t know you’d have it in Seattle, particularly because weddings are often held in the family home town.  (It also may still be cheaper to fly domestically to Seattle, I don’t know.)

ETA: You were nervous headed to Mexico your first time…  Try to understand they’re similarly nervous.

Post # 4
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry! People are terribly ignorant when it comes cultural awareness and differences.

I would just let it roll off of your back. You are doing this for all the right reasons and its going to be a magical time. I’m having my wedding away from my homebase/homestate and I got some crap, but ya know what, at the end of the day we are grateful for who can make it, and no pressure for those who can’t. Its about our marriage not everyones personal opinion on what would be more convenient for them;)

Post # 6
Member
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@kay01: Everything that she said. Bottom line you can’t please everyone. You had to have known planning an international Destination Wedding was going to have some push back. Especially in this economy. As well intenioned  and informed (because you have been there several times) as you care, I can understand people having reservations. Ignore it.

Post # 7
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@fresitachulita: My honeymoon is planned for Mexico..after doing a TON of research I came to the conclusion that unless you are buying drugs, walking around late at night, and making yourself an obvious target, its rare that something will happen to you. Also were staying away from the border area and thats where most of the violence is located. But to outside people, mexico looks like a giant cesspool of violence and drugs where innocent people get beheaded left and right..when in reality this is simply not the case. I wouldnt expect a lot of people to understand unless they really looked into this and if they cant make it, you cant please everyone.

Post # 8
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

yea it is annoying when people say judgemental things about the decisions you make and it can be hard to not care.  i think that people are thinking of themselves and not often taking other peoples perspective into consideration.  i have experienced some of this with the wedding, with what i should do in xyz area of my life, including the time i eat dinner which is usually 8:30.  i have heard it only gets worse when you have kids.  sometimes it can be hard to not fire back, or to withold sharing info to avoid the situation altogether.  you don’t need any party poopers anyhow.  you two know its what you want and congrats on coming together and making your dreams a reality.  you could have easily tossed the idea because of the logistics.  in the end, no matter who is or isn’t there and what they think it will be perfect.

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