Family to involved with the wedding plans…Anyone else?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

All you can do is sit them down and tell them in plain language how you feel, what you want to do and what they are allowed to do, and stick to it. If they don’t adhere to your plan, you set new boundaries, all the way to not including them at all in planning. Just plan everything yourself and give them no say  in the matter. 

That is about all you can do.

Post # 3
3610 posts
Sugar bee

Stop the information train. If they offer advice, tell them you and your fiance will take it under consideration. 

Post # 4
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

In all fairness I am an older bride and my parents have passed.  I do however have a sister who likes to offer up LOTS of advice, lol!  I never shared much of anything with her, tbh.  I never shared much of anything with anyone, really.  No chatting about it means no offering up of advice.

Sit them down and go over boundaries NOW – your wedding is not for a looooong time and that is a long time to live with this drama.

Post # 5
624 posts
Busy bee

If they are sane, rational people I’d have a real heart to heart explaining this to them. About your anxiety and stress. However I can’t assime they’re sane and rational, I know there are a lot of narcissist relatives and you can’t speak to them reasonably as they don’t care. But if that doesn’t work, stop the info. They ask what’s going on with wedding planning – say you’re not working on anything right now. Stop the info as much as you can. 

Post # 6
4648 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Yep. My mum is crazy. I agree with PP to say as little as possible but, in my case, that doesn’t make things better. For my mum she’s lonely. And she wants to be the centre of attention.

Post # 7
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

hyacinthandlavender :  I am having a very similar experience with ym mum Bee. She wants to be involved in all the decision making and any choices I make, she inistantly dislikes. She is also going around and telling all our family about anything I tell her.

I’ll give you the same advice other Bee’s have given me. You’ll have to stop the information train. The less info you give your mom and your sister, the less they can tell other peopel and do without you. If your mom starts asking about decor or florists, just tell her you are looking into it and have it handled. If she supplies you with phone numbers for vendors, just say thansk and you’ll call them when you have time.

Don’t be afraid to put your foot down. You will need to also remember that if your mum is contributing money to your wedding, that does entitle her to have a say in some things. Try to keep repeating. mum, this is my wedding and I would really like it this way. I hope you will repect my decision.

It can be hard, but you can do it!

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