Post # 1
Hi all – First time posting here…
My fiance and I want to get married this fall and we fell in love with a venue near our future home. Unfortunately the date we wanted was snapped up shortly before we visited to book it. The only options left were weekends that either were not convenient for us (Thanksgiving, Christmas) or Sept 11th, and I couldn’t see myself celebrating on the 11th. The men on my family are hunters and the only weekend left over was a hunting weekend. (My fiance is also a hunter). We booked it thinking that it was a great date at the venue we had pictured but I was nervous… would the men in my family show? When I announced the date, there was a lot of negative reaction that I should have known better than to book during hunting season and they probably wouldn’t be there, etc, and I am just distraught. I love my family and want them there for this special day that I, for a while, thought would never happen for me. But it seems to be more important to them to hunt that day than celebrate with me. My fiance is a hunting fanatic but the season doesn’t affect him because we are in another state. I am constantly having to defend my choice and listen to dismay and negativity. They are acting as if I booked that date on purpose to disrespect them, but my fiance and I didn’t want to wait a year and a half until next spring and felt that this was the right venue. Please advise… hopefully you have some words of encouragement? Thanks!
Post # 3
I got the same thing too. I want a winter wedding and my parents were not too happy thinking that alot of our out of town guests would not make it out. I love how it looks in the winter not to mention it’s a lot cheaper during that season. I kind of wanted a small wedding any way though. But yea..so now I will most likely change it to a spring wedding.
Post # 4
I am sorry your family is being unsupportive!
Do you really think they would choose hunting over coming to your wedding? Or are they complaining because they will be missing out on a day of hunting?
If they will still come and they are just complaining I would probably just try and brush off their comments and go ahead happily planning!
Post # 5
seirously if they are that obtuse to skip your wedding to go hunting, count your blessings you dont want them there. its ONE day – and not even the WHOLE day. seriously if its what you want its what you want. they will either be there or not. my money is on the fact that their wives and mothers will make them go regardless so its not an issue, im thinking they are just complaining hoping you will change it. its not a superbowl party or some random thing. its your WEDDING.
if its what you want, and your FH doesnt mind, then stick with whatchu got! 🙂 good luck girlie.
Post # 6
Also, who says they can’t hunt that day. Most people go out before dawn and are back in time for lunch, Sorry, but what a bunch of babies 🙂
Post # 7
I’m getting a little of the same flack for choosing a Sunday wedding over Labor Day weekend. Here I was trying to be considerate to those who would be traveling from out of state to give them an extra day to drive/fly, and sigh. Opinions galore.
I 100% agree with what spaganya said, and I think you should proceed as you’ve been doing. Everyone, no matter what you do, is going to have an opinion on your decisions. (Again, sigh.) Do what’s best for you and your fiancee and have the wedding when you both want to have it. I’m sorry, but a hobby versus a personal relationship I’ve cultivated with someone? How is this even a difficult choice?
Hang in there. 🙁
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club
I really think that some people don’t understand just how optional weddings are. If you don’t want to be there, don’t go! I won’t be offended. I understand that people might want to go and can’t, but again — this isn’t the bride’s fault.
You booked the best weekend you could and it’s done! I got some flack because our wedding is on a weeknight (they’re lucky we didn’t stick with our original plan of a Thursday night!). I got some flack because our wedding is in Dallas (my family is from San Francisco). Some are upset that the wedding is in July. I just quit caring — you will upset *someone* in planning your wedding and there’s not much you can do. I find that blank stares work very well. 😉
Post # 9
Can’t please everyone, so please yourself first! As long as the wedding party and rents can make it, what’s done is done! The wedding is only one day/night, they have the whole weekend to hunt! The people that are important will be there and if you weed out a few extra guests cuz of the date that’s never a bad thing!
Post # 10
I’m sorry they are unsupportive! I don’t hunt or know anyone that hunts but I don’t understand why one weekend completely ruins the entire season for them. Isn’t the season months long? They can’t do something else one day during the entire month? If they can’t come, then oh well. The people who really want to be there and support you will go (and obviously your Fiance isn’t saying that he isn’t going to go to the wedding because of hunting so it’s not that huge a deal).
Welcome to weddingbee!
Post # 11
Yes you can not make everyone happy and the people who love you will be there for YOUR special day…even maybe your uncles probably with grumpy faces. : /
Post # 12
I’m so sorry for your unsupportive family!
We’ve had a few problems with our Korean wedding – his family members think having an outdoor wedding at the beginning of June is ridiculous because it will be too hot (the weather is no different in June here from most of southern Canada and the northern US). His boss and coworkers were mad it was on a weekend (because who gets married on a WEEKDAY?) – and his boss complained and complained and complained that we were getting married at 330pm instead of earlier in the day because then his wedding gift (money) was being ‘wasted’ on a midday meal not lunch or supper (Korean weddings are super fast.)
So yeah – I hear you on the silliness of others. In the end we actually changed our time to stop a bit of the complaining, but we stood firm on the date. It’s so sad that some guests only think of their own interests and don’t realize that other times or dates might be an inconvience to other people!
Post # 13
I went through the same thing when we booked our date. My fiance’s family lives abroad and since he has two sisters that are still in school, we were trying to schedule the wedding around their school breaks/vacations.
We chose a date which we thought was perfect, until we were informed that it would fall on a black saturday (of the holy week) and since we are catholics and are having a catholic ceremony, the church just doesn’t do weddings on holy week. My fiance’s family wanted it the week before the holy week but I just couldn’t see myself getting married during the lent season, much more the week before the holy week. I know that if I did that, I’d be in my honeymoon on holy week. No fun.
So I scheduled it a week after holy week and they had comments about how his other sister would start school already and everything… And that a lot of people get married before holy week. But you know what, I realized that it’s my wedding and I don’t want to remember compromising on one of the biggest things in my life because his sister is gonna miss 2 days of school. In the end, they all agreed and his sister is missing 2 days of school, which she said is not even a big deal.
If you really want the date, stand firm. They will probably complain and bicker but if they love you, I’m sure they’ll set aside their negative thoughts about the date and will attend.
Post # 14
You’re definitely not alone. I’ve found that often what happens is that people complain up and down because they think that your wedding is going to be a week long event or something. They seem to forget that it’s a week long event for YOU, not them. Once they realize that it’s ONE DAY and there will be another hunting weekend, they’ll relax.
Post # 15
I’m getting ready for backlash – we’re doing a Friday wedding, and most of my family is from Out of Town. The Save-The-Date Cards go out later this week, so we’ll see if there’s an uproar. If there is, too bad because EVERYTHING is booked (DJ, florist, venue, cake, day-of coordinator, hotels, hair/makeup, tuxes etc.)
Post # 16
Welcome to Weddingbee! Im so sorry to hear that your family is not supportive of the date you have chosen. Do they go hunting every weekend during season? I dont see what one weekend out of several would cause them to be so upset. I hope everything works out for you and that they come around!