(Closed) Family Visit (long)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@WestCoast: I’ve dealt with something similar, so you’re not alone. My experiences started off very innocent, light, and funny with my family, like yours. But it eventually got so bad that my father had to call my family members individually to tell them to stop. My grandmother, in particular, would say: “I don’t have much time left here. I’m old. You need to get married before I die.” I heard that one this past Christmas and I completely broke down infront of my whole family. I had to run to the bathroom to calm down. My advice is to make sure it is kept very light and fun. And if you feel like they’re pushing just a little bit too much, make sure you tell them.

But it’s good to hear that it may happen soon. Have you two talked about it a lot? Or do you have a set timeframe in mind?


Post # 4
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh my family is equal opportunity – they bug me, us, and him, and have since about a year in.  My Brother-In-Law is the worst and my second cousin (that does all holidays with my family) the next.  The things they’ve said…  I just try to remember: my Brother-In-Law is trying to look out for me and signal they like my bf, unlike a prior one.  He also is worried I might experience the same fertility issues and heartbreak they have, if I wait too long.

His family is more laid back.  We don’t see anyone except his mom on a regular basis (sister lives out of country, brother across country), who is chill about it.  She just wants her kids to be happy.  However, she does call him on it when he makes noises complaining about things like friends having kids and him being behind.  She’s also offered her wedding ring to my bf, but we both don’t want to accept it.  The extended family doesn’t bug us/him/me because they’ve got two couples in the queue before us, as far as I am concerned – a cousin dating 7 years and his brother dating 5 years.  We had a funny conversation about this at Christmas actually – the other couples think we should go first because we’re the oldest.  (The other thing, is that two couples kept their relationships under tight wraps until recently so no one knew…that’s a 1.5 yr relationship AND the 7 year one…guy cousins, if you couldn’t figure that out.  Apparently the whole family was thrilled I pried some info out of them last Christmas.)

ETA: Remember they mean well.  Laugh it off when you can.  Call off the dogs when it gets bad.  Enlist allies (e.g. my dad will rein my mom in).

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