Family vs. Job vs. Degree

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

Bee, that is a lot on your plate! I almost didn’t graduate my undergrad due to some clerical issues (not my fault) but the department head gave me special dispensation. It sounds like that isn’t an option in your case, but good on you for talking to them.

Are there any online classes, so you could at least cut down on your commute?

Post # 4
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

misstomorris :  Are you able to transfer entirely to another University with more accessible programs and schedules, including online classes? 

Post # 6
Member
7458 posts
Busy Beekeeper

misstomorris :  what is stopping the CFO from having you replace your manager now? It sounds like you already do the job better than her. I’m just thinking that getting out from under a bad manager will relieve some of this stress….

Post # 8
Member
7458 posts
Busy Beekeeper

misstomorris :  I would go and talk to him about the school issue, but leave TTC out of it. Your boss doesn’t need that information. What if it takes you several years to get pregnant? What if you decide you aren’t the parent to stay home? I would focus on your education and experience with your boss and leave your personal life plans out of the equation for now. 

Post # 10
Member
7458 posts
Busy Beekeeper

misstomorris :  it sounds like you’ve been burning the candle at both ends for awhile so saying “I’m taking a step back before I get burnt out” is a sufficient answer. As is the simple fact that some of the classes might not be available when you need them! Also, my 2 cents, but finishing your degree once you’re pregnant and/or have a baby is WAY harder than while TTC. Personally I’d keep up the pace if I could even while TTC. It’s not like having sex a few times a week takes up that much time and if you really want a baby you’ll do it even if you’re tired lol. 

Post # 12
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

This stressed me out just reading your post, OP. I feel for you! 

I don’t have any super great advice but I guess the biggest thing for me would be taking a moment and just sit down to take time to think everything out and make some priorities. I mean that in the nicest way possible! Even sit down with your fiance and get his thoughts, ask for his opinions. I know when I got to a super stressful point in life with graduating and picking a job, just having a chill talk with Darling Husband helped SO much because I value his opinion that much.

Your fiance seems pretty supportive of you based on what you wrote, but I think you are being too hard on yourself and speculating… have a heart to heart maybe he is okay with you finishing school and waiting to TTC until you get your degree, you never know until you talk about it. Bounce some theoretical ideas off of each other for a revised plan/timeline and go from there. 

Ask yourself what is most important – the job you have and the idea you are moving up a position? is this position something that can happen with/without the degree you are working towards? is this a job you WANT longterm or just a job you have until you TTC/have a baby for extra income? 

How much do you value your degree? Is it just to say you have your BS in whatever area? 

I’m a pretty family oriented person and long-term my saying has always been “I work to support my life, my work is not my life”. In your case, I would not stress so much about when you will finish school and move forward with your wedding, TTC and work plans. If I could go back, I probably would’ve just gotten my associates degree, a job at the company I am at now and move forward with life stuff. School is important and I am so thankful I have my degree, but I’ve also kind of learned it isn’t worth THAT much life stress. 

Post # 13
Member
260 posts
Helper bee

Could you cut down on work and study full time to finish quickly? 

Post # 14
Member
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

misstomorris :   I came to propose the same thing as Lilliv did. I would keep up the pace of two classes per semester and TTC if your husband is on board. You might not get pregnant right away, or you might get pregnant quickly, it’s a toss up honestly. It will mostly likely be easier for you to be in school when pregnant than with a newborn so keep that in mind. 

I was in my senior year of my undergrad when I got pregnant with my son. I ended up taking 16 credits the semester I found out I was pregnant, then the semester I ended up having him (my last semester) I took my last 12 — graduated when he was 4 mo old. I just wanted to finish quickly and honestly getting it over and done with was more important for me than dragging it out. I was also working full time, although my boss at the time was very flexible with my schedule. When he was 1, I went back and started my masters program taking 2 courses a semester and graduated when he was 3.5. 

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