(Closed) Family walked out of my wedding…

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee

This is your husbands choice to make. I would move away from that situation and leave it to the family to work it out. 

Post # 32
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

Like many others, I advise to leave it up to your husband. I know they put a damper on the day, but I would forget about it. Also, just thinking of a possible meeting gives me the heebie jeebies lol! I agree with you and I can’t see that ending well…I don’t know how getting everyone involved will help to resolve things. 

If your SIL wants to keep ties with her aunt, then I think she should and it shouldn’t matter what happened between you. If it matters to the aunt, then that is their problem to bear but you shouldn’t feel pressured to apologize to your aunt, because honestly that’s what it will come down to if you end up calling her. 

Post # 33
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

mrsdaymackenzie, 

Let it burn. Regardless if you still enjoyed your wedding, their selfishness has left an everlasting memory when you think about your wedding day. It is best to let them go, if they act like this at YOUR wedding, on YOUR day, think about how petty they will act in the future. I personally have had to let immediate and distant family go permanently. Sometimes this is for the best. 

Post # 34
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee

They owe you the apology, not the other way around. If they felt so strongly about not having the daughter’s boyfriend there or where the ring bearer was sitting, these are things that should have been addressed before the wedding. A mature adult would have known and done this. But since your husband’s aunt is apparently neither mature or adult, she made a dramatic scene at your wedding and now it is something you will forever remember as a black mark on a once-in-a-lifetime day. Do you really want to have someone like that in your lives? Let alone have to practically go to her door with your hat in your hand and on your knees to do so?

Nah. Let her be nasty in her own little world. It’s clear no one else thinks she was in the right, either (i.e. SIL asking her to apologize, etc.).

Post # 35
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I’m speaking as someone who is estranged from my entire family, so I may be a bit biased.

First and foremost: THE NERVE! I’m a little pissed on your behalf! If something like that happened at my wedding, my jaw would have been on the floor in shock from the rudeness and balls on that woman to pull a stunt like that!

You don’t have to make an official announcement that you are cutting them out…just stop speaking to them. Your DH wants to be done with them, and he knows his family best. Follow his lead.

Sorry this happened 🙁

Post # 36
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Wow they seem very childish. Making a scene over seating arrangements? I would cut ties. Dinner is the only time you even sit at your assigned table.

Post # 37
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

At my (almost) brother-in-law’s wedding rehersal, at the church, in front of everyone – my (almost) sister-in-law who is married to my SO other brother demanded that she have a part in the wedding and ran out. She ran down an entire church aisle. She did this is the middle of the rehersal, a 30 something year old mother of one. She then sat without talking to the bride or groom the entire rehersal dinner. 

People are crazy.

Post # 38
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee

I think your best move is to just disengage from the whole thing. Don’t apologize, don’t expect an apology. If you ever have to see her, just be cool and polite. If someone brings up the conflict, say, “I’m sorry she feels that way.” Basically, ignore her. There doesn’t need to be more drama than there’s already been.

Post # 39
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Botanical Gardens

I would continue to let them be mad. Your wedding is exactly that your wedding day. With your aunts reasoning I feel you will have a screaming match. At family get togethers be cordial but I would not reach out to that woman. 

Post # 40
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
mrsdaymackenzie :  I’m w/DH – wash your hands of them and move on. Don’t waste another second on drama martyr’s

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