(Closed) Family wedding drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sugarlumps:  I’m not going to get into who’s right or wrong… but by not going to his brother’s wedding he may just be throwing away any chance of reconciling with his brother he may ever get. There’s clearly been a lot of drama in the last 4 years but can you deal with the same and more drama for many many more years to come?

 

Post # 5
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

I get how tough this situation is and obviously, there’s a lot of complicated history.  But, not going to your brother’s wedding is a pretty big statement.  Really, that amount of money (while a lot of money) isn’t worth such a permanent statement, IMO.  I would reconsider.

Post # 7
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow, she sounds like a total [email protected]#$%. I think it might be different if you had plans though and coudn’t make it, vs the brother not going. I think your partner should sit down and have a heart-to-heart with his brother, if he hasn’t already, about this relationship. How he wished they were like they used to be, why does it have to be that way, can he talk to his fiance about her rude behavior, etc. etc. I think I’d be worried that they are getting married only because of her dad’s illness, it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship if she dictates when he can and can’t see his family.

I would take on your same approach, letting the past go and just move on, but thats hard to do when SHE is being the way she is. Still, I think that your partner should go to the wedding, can he leave a bit later for his guys weekend, make it at least one day if not all 3? Or postpone it? I understand that his friends are probably better ‘family’ right now than his brother is, but if nothing else he should do it for his parents and other siblings so they can all be together.

Post # 8
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This woman wants to get married before her father dies. I think that supercedes accomodating your boyfriend’s trip, no matter how much you dislike her.

That said, on such short notice, with previous plans in place, it’s up to your boyfriend whether he wants to cancel or not. What matters is: how will he feel, in the long run, if he skips his brother’s wedding for this weekend with friends?

Post # 10
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

Could your partner go late to the boys weekend? That way he wouldn’t be throwing all the money away. He could go to the wedding and then leave early for the trip. Or you could go to the wedding in place of him and he could go on his trip? That is really tough. When families don’t get along it causes so much unneeeded stress.

Post # 12
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Honestly it sounds like the drama between the TWO of you is making hard for the brother’s to have any type of relationship. They either don’t see each other or have to listen to their partners bicker and complain about each other. In all honesty, why couldn’t you cross the street to have a drink with them? Who cares about facebook?

His brother is getting married, and the bride’s father is dying. I don’t think them not checking with you or anybody else in this situation matters. I think getting married so your father will still be a live to attend trumps anything.

I think your Boyfriend or Best Friend should cancel his trip and support his brother. I do think that is more important than a guys weekend. Now would be the time to put all the pettiness aside and support his brother.

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