Family wedding set one day before when we planned

posted 10 months ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
4468 posts
Honey bee

Well, your options are either learn to communicate and hopefully change his mind or get over it.  His reasoning is asinine but if you’re willing to just let it be then you are really only left with the one option which – get over it.

I mean get over it.  There is no magic “get-over-it” pill so not sure what exactly you are seeking.  Surely this isn’t the first time in your life you have been disappointed.  Presumably you got over that.  You’ll get over this.  Maybe not today or even tomorrow.  Get a pint of ice cream, have a pity party tonight, and then move on.  It is just a date.  There is nothing magical about it.  You aren’t extra super duper married if you do it on a dating anniversary.  Lots of people don’t even recall the specific date.  And any date you get married on will be special because it is the date you got married.  Lots of people get married on completely random dates for all kinds of reasons like wanting a preferred venue that is only open on that date or having to coordinate work schedules and they all live perfectly happy lives.  You will, too.

Post # 32
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Tell him y’all should get married earlier than April 2020.  Agree with PP, if you’re eloping what does it matter about school or liscensing?  

It’s over a year away.  To be honest the ‘story’ of y’all getting married on your 5 year anniversary is cute, but it’s unlikely to even come up in conversations with others after your first year of marriage anyway.  Pick a different fun anniversary to tie the knot on.

Post # 34
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I see it as you have a year and a half to talk him into it. 

 

Post # 35
Member
458 posts
Helper bee

You’re not even engaged yet – if you really have such a hangup about the date then wait another year!

If you think your boyfriend will say you can’t get married on your sister in law’s sister in law’s anniversary then can I politely suggest he actually isn’t seriously looking to marry you.

Post # 36
Member
5321 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Why was your heart set on that date though? What would be the downside to having it like a week later?

Post # 37
Member
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

shockedbee :  if the ring is already in production and your sloping, why can’t you do April 8th 2019? That’s still 5 months away.

Otherwise i agree with pp that a secret elopment on April 8th 2020 is not stepping on any toes.  Announce after what your SO sees as an appropriate amount of time.

Another option if dates are important to you is see a numerologist and have them recommend a good date for you. 

Either way bee don’t stress, you have heaps of options and solutions and time.

Post # 38
Member
763 posts
Busy bee

Are you even going to the wedding in Australia? If not, and you were intending to elope just the two of you anyway, then I really don’t see the issue. 

But if the issue is your SO then so be it..

Were you intending to elope abroad or just to a local courthouse? If the latter, then I also don’t see why next year isn’t a go-er. If you’re just having a nice day out to get married – it shouldn’t interfere much with your SO’s studying. Have you honeymoon after he’s done..

 But ultimately – it’s just a date and will still be one of your anniversariees regardless if you get married on it or not. Picking a different date just means you get another date to celebrate on as well. Pick another date tat is special – a birthday or something. 

Youre just going to have to dry your eyes, Bee. I wanted a Christmas wedding but wr’e Getting married in May  because we didn’t want to wait so long – go figure..!

My wedding was also inadvertently booked for the same day as my cousins. Not ideal for some people (mainly my dad as I’m not close with the rest of my family) – but you just have to get over these things..! Once you set anther date and start planning youlllookforwrd to it and I doubt you’ll care so much.

Post # 39
Member
3181 posts
Sugar bee

The benefit of getting married on another day is now you have two anniversaries to celebrate. 

Post # 40
Member
4673 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Sorry what? Your SO’s sisters husband’s sister is getting married? And therefore you can’t get married on a different (albeit close) date? This is a non issue.

Post # 41
Member
4673 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Unless you’re not actually eloping and need the sister to be there? 

Post # 42
Member
8259 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

shockedbee :  

Dear OP, I don’t mean  to be snarky  in the least but I never heard such a convoluted array of non issues in my life .

You are designing a ring and it will be ready soon but need to wait 6 months or more because of  ??  to propose with it.   You are eloping but others need to be told  about it ?  You are most concerned that it should not be on or even almost on somebody else’s  wedding day even though it won’t impact them  – or you  – in any way ?  And finally , you are waiting  a year and a half more to marry even though you both  (presumably)  are ready to marry now because you want it to be on a particular dating anniversary ? 

I dunno OP,  seems like you and him are creating a set of problems  where none really exist… 

Post # 43
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

shockedbee :  Whoah whoah whoah so since your SIL’s SIL is getting married a day before you planned to elope now you cant elope? Am I missing something? This is beyond silly thinking. Go elope on the day you planned!

Post # 44
Member
5407 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

elderbee :  perfectly said. This is all self created drama

Post # 45
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Everything @elderbee said

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