(Closed) Family&Friend reactions to engagement after short dating period

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Parent reactions to engagement after dating less than a year
    Excited : (49 votes)
    54 %
    Concerned : (28 votes)
    31 %
    Discouraged you to make wedding plans : (13 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    My SO and I have been together officially for 2 months (unofficially 4) and when I hinted to my mom that we had discussed marriage once or twice she was thrilled. She loves him and thinks he’s perfect for me. I think his family would also have no issue with it. He said he’s thinking around September, maybe Oct-Nov and I’m perfectly fine with that. We’d be at almost a year by then, which I think is a good timeline for how easily our relationship has progressed.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We were married 11 months after we met – my family knew we were getting married within the first 6-8 weeks.  Everyone was thrilled.  Then again, we were 38 and 40.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2335 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I’m not in a similar situation, but if this happened to someone I knew, I’d probably be a little concerned.

    If you’re planning on having a long engagement, it’s not that big a deal. But if you haven’t been together very long *and* you’re also having a very short engagement, I’d probably be like… woah, woah, what’s the rush?

    Of course, I’d also be polite enough not to SAY anything. People are adults and they can make their own decisions. Generally you’re not going to change someone’s mind anyway.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    Our parents were excited for us!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    My family and friends were all excited…BUT my husband and I were very close friends before we started to date, so we had a lot of the same friends anyway and we already knew each other’s families.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    4049 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @rachelmichelle:  I’m with you. I’d be concerned, but I would only express that concern if it were my best friend and we have the sort of relationship where we are comfortable enough to raise issues with one another.

    But it’s not like I’d think it was automatically doom and gloom for the couple. Plenty of folks have long and happy marriages after a short time dating.

    Post # 10
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My fiance’s brother got a divorce & remarried his new wife within a few months. Their whole family was very concerned for him.  He had only hungout with his new wife one time before they got married (they dated long distance). It seemed really crazy to me. But it’s been 2 years and they are still together…

    Post # 11
    Member
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My family would flip out. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    9570 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We got engaged after about 10 months (I moved in 3 months after we met).  Everyone was excited for us.  I think maybe one or two of his friends were slightly concerned it was too quick, but both of them don’t ever want to get married (one said you have to be together 5 years first!).  We just knew this was it really quickly.  We also had no reason to wait really, we met at 27.  The wedding is on the 2-year anniversary of our first date.

    Post # 13
    Member
    438 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Dated my Darling Husband for 8 months before the proposal, and we were ring shopping at just under 6 months. When you know you know, and usually the people that are close to you do too. My mom and dad were so thrilled when my Darling Husband asked for their permission and overjoyed to start the planning process. Of course there’s always someone to rain on a parade, but if you know it’s right- that’s all that matters. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My fiance and I decided to get engaged at just under six months of dating (something like 5 months and 20 days). We told my parents at about 6 and a half months. They were both like, “Yep, saw it coming from miles away!” We were officially engaged at about 8 months.

    BUT my parents dated three months and were married before they’d known each other a year, and have been happily married thirty years. (They might argue they were happily married for about six of those years – the years before they had children and once the children moved out!)

    We will have been together almost three years when we get married.

    Post # 15
    Member
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yeah if this happened to one of my close friends or family I would be super concerned. It would be different if they were older, but if they were younger than 30 I would definitely say something. Also, it totally depends how long the engagement is.

    Post # 16
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We went from first date to married in 9 months. The parents were EXTREMLY concerned and the friends thought we were bonkers and pregnant… None of the above. That was 13 years ago.

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