- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I posted about this a while ago, but things have progressed. I’m just wondering how to deal.
When I initially got engaged, I didn’t want a wedding party of any kind, but my fiance ended up wanting his friends involved. Since he doesn’t have siblings and I have 2, both of whom are married, and because I haven’t gotten along with my sister in some time (in addition to other things I’ll outline below), I opted to have just friends as bridesmaids rather than family. I didn’t feel comfortable having my siblings take over our wedding party when he doesn’t have any.
In addition, I haven’t gotten along with my sister in some time. Honestly, being around her gives me hives–no joke. Her husband also just got out of rehab, and then relapsed right before Thanksgiving. So in my head, I felt like being in my wedding was something that she didn’t need to deal with.
Now, anytime anyone (particularly family members) ask me who my bridesmaids are, I tell them my two friends, and I get very judgmental “ohs” in response. I like the idea, sisterly woes notwithstanding, of letting family just sit back and watch. And regardless of all the “it’s your wedding do what you want” comments I get (I’m the last of 3 kids getting married, and the other 2 siblings had fairly over-the-top weddings, in my opinion), I feel like I’m still getting judged for my decision. I feel like anyone expecting me to ask my sister to be in my wedding hasn’t been paying attention to my life for the past 5 years, and I feel like if I DID ask her, in the midst of having to deal with her husbands REAL issues, would be really selfish.
Anyone have any idea how to deal with this?