(Closed) Fantasies?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

well wine helps.


ask him if he has any fantasies. We’ve talked about ours and not all will happen but it’s fun to lay in bed and discuss them. 0:)

Post # 4
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Could you both write out a few, and exchange them to start with?  It might be less pressure and easier to ease into if you can write it out first.

Post # 5
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My SO and I have just always been open about that kind of thing. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about! We all have some fantasies, even if it doesn’t seem to fit in with our personalities. 

When you two are getting in the mood some day, just bring it up like it’s a part of foreplay. Ask him what fantasies he has. If he’s shy about it too, maybe just bring up something little you fantasize about and like, whether it is a new position, new sex location, etc. Hopefully that would get the ball rolling and he’d respond. Then work your way up to whatever other “less reserved” fantasy you have in mind. I’m sure he won’t be horrified! You’ll probably find he has a few of his own. 🙂

Post # 6
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m also very reserved, or at least think of myself that way, in normal life. I was very embarrassed about talking about sex initially with my SO, too. What helped me was reading a book (a very large and fun book) called The Guide to Getting it On, which goes over lots of stuff about sex and relationships in detail– it’s fun and informative, and manages to avoid being gross (except when it is talking about health issues). My SO was embarrassed by it (he is easily embarrassed about such things), but I enjoyed reading it and it helped me be braver about saying things. I’m still a little embarrassed about verbalizing certain things, but it’s gotten much easier, especially when in the moment, and it is really fun for both of us.

I’ve found that an easy way to suggest new things is to refer to a silly magazine (“I saw this thing in Cosmo that I am kind of curious about”) or, if you have a sexy dream involving one of your fantasies, tell him about the dream. Or, when you are having a special evening together, when it becomes obvious that sex is going to happen, say, “would you like to try XYZ? I’m kind of curious about it. . .” And once you’ve said something, ask him if he has things he might want to try/has been dreaming/fantasizing about too. . . 

Post # 8
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

It seems like you just want some rougher sex. For him to “take you,” per say. Am I right? Most women I know like for their man to get a little rough and be dominant.

So you have shared some fantasies, and even agreed “we should do that some time.” So next time you two start to get intimate, stop him and say, “Hey, let’s try XYZ. I think it will be fun.”

And give him guidance during sex. He won’t know what you want unless you tell him or show him. Want him to grab your hair? Tell him to. Or else take his hand and move it there. He’ll get it eventually.

It might feel awkward, but you just need to learn to let go and share what you want. Since it seems like you’ve had some discussions outside the bedroom about it, now when you two start up with foreplay, bring it up again.

Beside, what is the worst that can happen? He seems open to changing things up, so the worst that can happen is maybe a couple awkward moments where you two don’t know what you’re doing. That isn’t so bad is it? He’s your fiance, he loves you and wants to be with you, so he’s not going to reject you.

Let us know how it goes!

Post # 9
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

maybe suggest he push you up against a wall? or maybe you’d like him to tie you up with panty hose? something not harmful but a little more dominant?  I don’t think these things are too far fetched, something a little rougher but nothing that is out of control.  In our every day lives I’m more dominant, I’m a strong tough independent woman, but I enjoy being ‘taken over’ in a slightly rough he’s dominant kind of way.  You could even suggest that he just pin your arms over your head or something?

Post # 10
20 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Fiance has a fantasy of me getting it on with another guy… And him either watching or pleasuring me at the same time as the other guy.. Any other bees got a guy with this fantasy?

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