(Closed) fat bm

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Order the dress.  Its stressful for a bride to deal with a Bridesmaid or Best Man who won’t order the dress.  Alterations aren’t that expensive if you find someone other than the shop to do it.  Chin up and do your best.  This is her day and the drama of the way you feel about your body shouldn’t drag it down unnecessarily.  Having that said, I think that size 16 is perfectly average and I’m sure you look great.  🙂

Post # 4
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Hugs to you! It’s very frustrating that most shops refuse to carry bridesmaid dresses in a wide range of sizes. When I was Maid/Matron of Honor recently, we had success at Alfred Angelo. They carried their dresses in lots of sizes, and the dresses weren’t half bad. If you have an AA near you, it may not hurt to suggest to the bride that it would be a good place to shop. Good luck!

Post # 5
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know how you’re feeling. I’m currently a size 22 and decided to buy my dress online than deal with any bridal shop sending me into a tailspin about my weight. 



Since you mentioned you liked strapless dresses. May I suggest this:  



When I was a bridesmaid at my best friends wedding a few years back, I wore this and it was strapless but the halter part provided enough support that I wasn’t pulling my breasts up all night. 


Hope that helps. 


Post # 6
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@jennmc85:  It’s really early to be ordering Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses! I think she should be willing to wait until 6 months out, so October/November. (I am saying this as my bride self whose sister wants to lose weight before my wedding- I am giving her the time she needs!) I don’t know if that gives you enough time to lose it but if you lose a LOT of weight (not sure what your goals are) the dress could end up being completely unalterable. 

I am sorry she has put you in this situation and is not being respectful to you. I think it’s fair to talk to her up front about your feelings. I’m hoping that she will be sensitive to you and just needs a reminder. She is 10 months from her wedding, this is not crunch time yet, so she should have the time to listen and be respectful to you. 

I don’t know if she is up for considering this, but weddingtonway.com is awesome and if it’s okay with you then you all could avoid the trying on dresses in a shop thing. I would just suggest it to her because it’s an awesome site. I have already picked out dresses, their all the same color but I picked 9 different styles my BM’s can all choose from because I respect that they all have different body types and available funds and this should be a dress that doesn’t just sit in the back of their closet forever. 

So sorry to hear, I hope she is more understanding with you if you talk to her!

Post # 8
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Order the dress and have it altered if you lose the weight you want to lose. 

Post # 9
8818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jennmc85:  one of my BM’s is much larger than the others.

we went to david’s bridal, just for fun to try on a bunch of stuff for all of us. my friend knows she is bigger and honestly we had a lot of fun with how ridiculous everything looked. she didn’t mind at all.  myself, my Maid/Matron of Honor, and my 2 BMs are all very close.

then i took them to the bridesmaid store where i was planning on going for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.  i told them the color and told them they could pick out any dress they wanted.  they all picked the same dress.  they all tried the dress on in the store, but the sample size was much too small for the one Bridesmaid or Best Man.

the dress was flattering on each of their body types and they are all so different.

they ordered, the dresses came in.  and the dress is beautiful on all of them.

i’m sorry you are uncomfortable.  i do think that the bride should keep her BM’s feelings in mind, especially because they should be her nearest and dearest friends.

but why don’t you ask what the deadline is to order the dress.  then work hard to lose the weight that you want and go back and order the dress before the deadline?



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