Post # 1
**I’ve previously posted about this sort of topic before but I’ve finally purchased a dress.
I’m fat, I get it. Unfortunately it seems that no one around me seems to think that I know it. No one but my fiance knows that I’ve joined Weight Watchers in an attempt to regain some control in my life beginning with my weight and my health and have so far lost one kilo per week. This is all a lifestyle change and there’s no way that the weight will just magically come off and I’ll be a size 8 before the wedding (although one can dream) and as such I’ll be working on this for a very long time. I might possibly struggle with my weight my entire life. I can accept that. What I can’t accept is the need for other people in my life to point out my weight/size/shape at what feels like every turn, especially as I choose my wedding dress.
After seeing this dress over a year ago and going back and forth quite a bit, I’ve ordered dress style V3469 from David’s Bridal in a size 18. But any time I’ve shown someone they dress they say it’s beautiful but it doesn’t suit my size/body. There are pictures of women around my size or even larger that have bought the dress and posted photos and I thought it looked lovely on them. I’m given website after website from people around me for plus size dresses made in China or some here in NZ and it just makes me frustrated. They want there to be sleeves, more fitted, less fitted, different fabrics, assymetrical styles, shorter to show off my supposedly best asset of “lovely ankles” while hiding the fact that I’m fat. I don’t think fat is something you can just hide at my current size. Every single day as the wedding gets closer I start to think about canceling it or making it a very private affair and only invite the immediate family if we invite anyone at all. I have looked at the more “suitable” dresses with the sleeves, loose fit, and most coverage that has been recommended to me and none of them even remotely interest me.
Am I making a fool of myself by buying the V3469? What if I do look horrible?
Post # 2
Screw what other people think. That dress is gorgeous, and you’ll look gorgeous wearing it! Nobody’s dress fits perfectly at any size – that’s what alterations are for.
If anyone gives you any grief for wearing what makes you feel beautiful on your wedding day, uninvite them. Seriously. There’s no need for negativity in your life.
Really, though, your ankles are your best feature to these people? What a ridiculous thing to say.
Post # 3
Coming from a person that doesn’t know you or have seen you and honestly doesn’t care if I hurt you with my opinion, but that dress is beautiful and you should wear it! There are some beautiful plus size brides out there! “Here is an article about dress shopping. I know you already found your dress, but the author is your same size and I personally think she looks great in all the dresses she tries on! And I can only imagine that you will too. I will say, coming from a size 14 bride with big boobs, that having a sweatheart neckline helped me feel more comfortable. But thats just me.
Fuck those people with those negative comments. I don’t know what it is about wedding and having babies, but both life events seem to make people drop their filters.
You will look amazing. Good luck on your current weightloss btw!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
Congratulations on finding a dress you love! I’m sorry that you are not getting more support from your loved ones though. Dress shopping for us plus sized ladies (or really anyone who has issues with how their body looks) can be tough. I had a hard time (size 18 also). I still am having a hard time. I love my dress but I do not love how I look in it. If you found a dress that you love and you love how you look in it…who care what everyone else has to say! They are not the ones wearing it. Good luck to you!
Post # 5
My dress is a bridal 16 (I’m street 12/14 depending on the time of the month…) drop waisted A-line tulle ballgown and I love it. I think you will be lovely in your dress! A-line is a very flattering fit.
Post # 6
Zephi: if its your dream dress and you love it and your fiancé loves you tell them they are shitty friends. It’s your day and they have no right trying to change you or hide you behind their judgemental ideas of what should be done on your day.
Well done on the weight lose and not taking the pressure to do stupid things for quick fixes. You will succeed in your goals cause you love yourself
Post # 7
And what you say in response? clearly, you need to start snapping back and letting people know thsse comments arent appreciated.
Post # 8
Your wedding, your choice. I did a Google Image search for that dress and think it looks great on the bigger girl – very hourglassy.
People are being very rude pointing out your weight or size and usually I would ask what the heck do they think gives them the right but I know the answer. Weddings. Weddings seem to make people think they have the right to be as rude as they like!
Post # 9
Zephi: Oh honey. I wish I could give you a hug. I think at this point you should be proactive when showing people pics of the dress (if you can’t avoid it entirely) and say something like, “I don’t want to hear any negative comments. Please think of something positive to say and keep the criticisms to yourself. Thanks!” in a bright voice before you show them. People should know better than to say negative things about a dress you’ve already purchased, because that’s just unkind.
Remind yourself that instead of being fat, you could be unkind.
Post # 10
I tried on–and almost bought–that dress. It is gorgeous and very flattering (most A-lines are). You need to come up with some kind of comeback to these people that shames them while leaving you in the clear. “I have a beautiful dress and I am thrilled to be wearing it to marry the love of my life. Why do you think it is okay to say these things to me?” Place the onus on them for being, frankly, really inappropriate.
Post # 11
First, I get the weight struggle. I’m a lifetime WW member (sometimes I’m well over my goal for that status – like right now.) I know it will be a lifetime battle for me. You aren’t alone.
Second, I popped the style number into google image search to see the dress. And there are tons of girls of all shapes and sizes in that dress. Real women, not models. And they all look great. You will too. You’re marrying the love of your life that day, you’re surrounded by those who love you most. Who cares what # is on the tag of the dress, I doubt you will that day.
Post # 12
Zephi: I see no reason why you won’t look beautiful in that dress. I am so sorry that people are being like this. Honestly though, I am for calling people out on asshole behavior. Next time someone makes a comment about your size or shape, you need to tell them that what they are saying to you is thoughtless and hurtful.
Post # 13
Zephi: Sorry to hear others are making you feel bad about yourself & good that you are taking steps in a healthier direction. I think that dress is beautiful and I think you’ll totally rock it 🙂 go for what you like & I am sure you’ll look beautiful. Beauty comes in a lot of different sizes…. <br />Speaking of which: Have you had a look at this thread? there are so many beautiful pictures… http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/plus-size-full-figured-brides-lets-see-your-pictures/#axzz36b7MgIIR
Post # 14
People will ALWAYS have something to say but what you should always keep in mind is how YOU feel in the dress. Does it make you feel beautiful? When you have the dress on do you get goose bumps and chills? If so then I say you are on the right track. This is a day about you and your FI spending your lives together so what anyone else may think is of no consequence!
Post # 15
“Every single day as the wedding gets closer I start to think about canceling it or making it a very private affair and only invite the immediate family if we invite anyone at all.”<br /><br />Please, please don’t hide yourself away! That makes me so sad, not just that they’d make you doubt your own wedding dress choice, but that they’d make you feel too ashamed to even appear at your own wedding. All I can do is reiterate what others have said; the dress is a gorgeous one, and flattering on all body types (absolutely including yours!). Buy your favourite dress, enjoy your wedding day, and please remember that you will be a beautiful bride.
P.S. Lovely ankles? Ugh.