(Closed) Fat, devastated, depressed…and it's really not fair.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Hi, OP. Sorry to hear you’re feeling down. But here’s a little penguin who wants to cheer you up.

I’m afraid I don’t have any advice, but I hope this makes you smile a little 🙂

Post # 123
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I am also 5’0, OP, and the heaviest I have ever been. I got on the scales this morning and realised I weighed more than my 6’0 brother. I also feel really uncomfortable in my own skin… I’m usually a UK 8-10 (US 4-6?), and those size 10 trousers feel awfully tight on me at the moment.

I wish I knew the answer. The truth is that the only time in my life I have ever lost weight and kept it off was by regularly exercising until I vomited or fainted, weighing all my food, and eating a very restrictive bodybuilder’s diet. Over the years, it destroyed my body. My joints are ruined because I did so much running. My knees, in particular, are permanently damaged. Of course, as soon as I stopped, I gained all the weight back. I recently came off my latest diet for 8 weeks and gained a grand total of 36lb… and I wasn’t even eating junk food!

I wish I had some better advice. All I can say is that you aren’t alone… and I’m sure you looked great in your wedding pics! Really. Honestly. Brides never look ugly, even if they are green with hair sprouting from their noses…

… well, OK, maybe then. But only then, LOL!

PS Oh, and my friends are all asking if I’m pregnant now as well, because I “look bigger”. Blooming cheek, I call it!

Post # 124
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

View original reply
@bebero:  “she hates being fat. why stay fat?”

I think this is spoken like a person who doesn’t struggle to lose weight as much as OP or myself, to be honest!

This is the age old question: if you have to really punish your body obsessively in order to lose weight, not just cut a few calories, at what stage should you just let it go and try to be happy how you are, you know?

On the one hand, nobody wants to be obese, but if you have to practically develop an eating disorder just to get a BMI of 25 or less, there has to be a point where you say… hang on. This needs a reassessment. OP implies (reading between the lines here, but I could be wrong) that she had to develop obsessive behaviour to lose weight, and that’s not healthy either.

So I think the advice to work on her self-esteem is good advice!

Post # 125
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@Rachel631:  I agree that working on your self estime is a good thing and it is needed. But if you’re overweight and you don’t like it that way, why do people tell her “come to terms with being fat and love yourself”?. NO. She doesn’t have to come to terms with being fat! She can love herself and lose weight!

Post # 126
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@SickandTired:  I cant promise this will help but i can tell you i lost 25lbs in since aug and 40 since this time last year 

 

http://www.fitbit.com/au/flex check this out i have one it really helps you link it in with http://www.myfitnesspal.com/  the fitbit flex you wear it tracks all ur activity for walking the dog to gym work outs too walking around the office every move … so you get a real time sync of all your activity … then you used fitnesspal to log your food (it has a huge data base and you can scan things) its like you can have control

 

… for me i never ate enough  when i would diet i try and live on 1200 cal that didnt work turns out when i am active i need more like 2000 and i am losing wight and eating and seeing big change and being happy … it even breaks down if your getting enought iron and protien and stuff it gives you power and control to see what you earned each day … and you will see your clothes start to fall off

 

i can’t tell you it will work for sure … but its math and its ez it does everythuing for you even if u go swimming or something it cant monitor no prob u just go add acitivity on ur myfitnesspal and put in teh time you started and how long then it will erase the steps int hat time and give you the cals u burned for the swimming or whatever

 

it is so amazinly helpful i tried lots of diets and i hated my body i was tipped over 200 i was so not happy and i felt gross its a terrible feeling … so def try this thing its a lil bit of money but its so worth it its a lil dif at 1st logging everythign but now i can even look at food and just know about how much its worth and if i did enough to do it 

 

i suggest trying it it might might u not have to feel this way you deserve to be happy with you try it 

 

 

Post # 127
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I think that the weight is not the problem here, i think you need a boost of self esteem and body confidence. 

Your husband clearly loves you for YOU!! When you compare yourself to others I can imagine how hurt he feels – because I have done this to my fiance. I have compared myself to other women countless times, ruined my self esteem and have had zero body confidence. All of which have hurt the man who loves me more than I have hurt myself! 

I tried on my dream wedding dress yesterday and whilst looking back at the pictures this morning I have been my usual critical self. Although, at the time I felt beautiful, curvy and lucky to have boobs and hips to shape the dress. 

I will not criticise myself anymore. I will perservere to look the best I can for my wedding day but mostly I will love who I am, because who I am is not what size or shape my body is. 

 

Hugs to you! 

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