(Closed) Father Daughter Dance, but no Mother Son Dance… Advice?

posted 11 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What do you think we should do?

    Do the father daughter dance, but skip the Mother-Son Dance.

    Don't do the father daughter dance at all- just cut the whole thing out of the wedding.


  • Post # 3
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    no one will miss it if you don’t have a mother/son dance, except the people thinking about his mom that day. Don’t give up your dance with your dad just because he can’t have his mom there. I’m sure she would have wanted you to celebrate and have fun.

    Post # 4
    2039 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Hmm…I don’t have advice for your particular situation, but my heart goes out to your Fiance. Our situation was a little bit different; I did a dance with my dad, but DH didn’t do one with his mom because they didn’t really “get” the tradition–they’re Russian and it wasn’t a meaningful/important thing for him to dance with his mom at a designated time (they did dance together later that night). But anyway, it didn’t seem weird or strange to just have the father-daughter dance and no mother son dance, so if your Fiance feels okay about it, I say just go for the father daughter dance. Is there maybe a song that reminds him of his mom that he would want played at some point during the wedding to honor her?

    Post # 5
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We’re in the same boat but for totally different reasons: my Fiance and his mom don’t get along at all. We’re going to do the father-daughter dance and just skip the mother-son dance completely.

    Post # 6
    3982 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    i say go ahead and do the father daughter dance…Maybe you can have your mom step in halfway through the song and dance with Fiance while you and your father dance? just and idea…

    Post # 7
    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @hilsy85:i’m in a similar situation to you. fmil is danish and fi says she won’t get it, that he’ll just dance with her later. but i was worried people might think they don’t get along (they do) or think it odd. thanks for posting.

    Post # 8
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We’re in the same boat, my boy lost his mom when he was 5 and his father didn’t remarry until after he went off to school. 

    We decided were are going to change up the order and have the father/daughter dance first and then have my dad sort of “give me away” again to my new husband and then have our first dance as husband and wife. Since our first dance is a really upbeat number we thought it would be great to have the sentimental moment followed by the fun-funky “let’s party” song.

    Look, just make sure the DJ, or who ever, knows what’s going on and avoid awkwardness and, honestly, no one will consider it odd. 

    Post # 10
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i would do the father/daughter dance as long as fi is okay with it. you really need to talk to him about it, though. i’m sure it will be difficult for him to watch knowing that he can’t do the mother/son dance, but at the same time i’m sure he realizes 1) how important it is to you and 2) the need to show your appreciation and celebrate your family while they’re alive.

    Post # 11
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    we are having this same problem. fiance lost his mom about 6 years ago. I always imagined he would dance with my mom, but now that I think about it we’ve never even talked about it! guess we need to have that conversation!

    Post # 12
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    Not everyone does a mother-son dance at their wedding–I’ve actually never seen one, even though every wedding I’ve been to has had a father-daughter dance. Skip it, and acknowledge his mother in other ways.

    Post # 14
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I am so sorry about your FI’s mother. But I agree with previous poster; go ahead and do the father-daughter dance. It’s important to celebrate those living and the relationships you still have! 

    Post # 15
    2294 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My hubby hates dancing, and his mom is just about the same way.  They both decided together that they didn’t want to do a mother-son dance.  BUT my dad and I wanted to do a father-daughter one, so we did.  

    Post # 16
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I think you should consider doing your father daughter dance and finding another way to recognize the memory of his mother.  a friend of mine who lost her father, had a quick video montage of him set to one of their favourite songs.  it was very touching. 

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