Post # 1
I’m getting married this October and of all the weird wedding things out there this one has me stumped. I have a great relationship with my Dad. He’s walking me down the aisle and making a toast at the wedding. The only thing is I know for a fact I will not make it through a father daughter dance without crying my eyes out (it won’t be cute trust me).
I have no idea why this is a problem for me but it is. And I really don’t want to ugly cry on wedding day. A few tears here and there are fine but I just don’t want to have to excuse myself because I can’t keep it together. I’ve tried to listen to so many different songs and they all make me start ugly crying just picturing dancing with my dad.
I think it’s because there’s always been an element of the father daughter dance that was sad to me, it makes me feel like I’m losing my father forever. I know that’s not the case but something in my brain won’t let go of this.
I talked to my dad about it and he understood and suggested we just dance together with everybody else during the wedding. I thought that was a great suggestion but I feel like his feelings were hurt and he was trying to be nice. I think I need to let this go since he already said he was ok with skipping the dance. But just wondering if anyone else felt this way/what you did.
I’ve tried to listen to more upbeat songs but they still make me feel like I’m having this massive farewell to my Dad and it just hurts. I’ve always been on the sensitive side when it comes to music so I’m not super shocked I feel this way but I’m surprised how hard I feel this sadness with the dance. I have generalized anxiety (I see a doc) and so I think that plays a factor in this. I got to the point where I thought if I could figure out why this sets off my waterworks I could fix it and do the dance but maybe that’s just not in the cards and I should just be grateful my Dad is cool with it.
Post # 2
I’m a crier like you and I was sure I was going to sob all the way through because my dad and I danced to our special song.
I didn’t. We sang to each other the whole time and it’s a wonderful memory that I cry over because it makes me so happy.
Just take it as it comes, find a song that means something to your relationship. It’s absolutely fine if you ugly cry, I’ve seen tons of brides do it.
Post # 3
I am also very sensitive and music is such a trigger for me. My dad passed away a couple of years ago so I did the dance with my brother, who gave me away. I picked a sappy song and knew for sure that I would bawl through it, no matter how much I prepared myself for it.
I didn’t cry a single tear. We talked and made jokes through the whole thing, keeping it really light-hearted and happy. It was a nice moment. You shouldn’t skip making this memory with your dad just because you’re afraid of crying.
Post # 4
oh girl I BAWLED during my father-daugther dance. Ugly cried through the second half of it. But it meant so much for us. Just have some tissues in your hand, you can discreetly talk with your dad to take some of the attention off the song, it’ll be beautiful. Congrats!
Post # 6
You are all so lovely and wonderful! Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it!
Post # 7
I’m like the biggest cry baby ever, and a huge daddy’s girl. I start talking about my dad and I start crying lol. I thought I would be a sobbing mess, but honestly I held it together well. A few tears, but nothing like what I thought I would be. He was a sobbing mess during the dance lol but like a smiling sobby mess.
I say still dance alone with your dad. It was such a highlight of my night, and honestly I enjoy the photos of my dad and I dancing more than my husband and I. Embrace the beautiful moment! I can’t imagine not having that moment with him, brings me to tears thinking about it. You’ll get amazing photos that truly captures your bond. If nothing else, I recommend doing a first look with him!
And one more of the first look. Because my dad 😭😭
Post # 8
I think it would be such a special memory even if you did end up crying! You could also practice dancing with your dad ahead of time so that the music isn’t such a big trigger on your wedding day.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2019 - Canada
Gosh, you guys are so adorable!!!
OP, I thought I would have this issue (because I honestly teared up reading your post. UGH! I gotta learn to get a grip lol). I was SO worried about this when I was planning my first wedding. Both my dad and I are big criers. We did a normal slow-dance that switched into an awesome surprise choreographed dance haha. It was SO fun and the memories I made sneaking away with dad to the dance studio and at the church to get one more practice in are some of my favorites! People still talk about that dance haha. And bonus; we were so busy & excited thinking about the choreographed part that we didn’t get emotional during the slow part. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it didnt have a “recycled from previous wedding” feel lol. But I say just dance with your dad! Weddings are supposed to be emotional and I highly doubt anyone would talk crap about you getting emotional over it. Don’t skip this special part just because of a few (or a whole bunch) tears!
Post # 10
What if you do a happy upbeat song not a slow dance.
Post # 11
I’m so jealous! I know 100% my dad will not do a father daughter dance. He didn’t dance with my mum on their wedding day so I highly doubt he’ll dance with me on mine!
If you think that there’s even the slightest chance that you would regret not having one and your father is willing to do it then I think you should do it! It will be the end of the night anyway so your make up no longer has to be perfect (and it probably won’t be as I fully expect to cry walking down the aisle!)