(Closed) Father not Walking me down aisle

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d stick with your Mom.  I agree he should have called or come to see you if he was that upset, not play games with the package.  It would kind of make me feel better about picking my Mom to walk me down the aisle. ((HUGS)) I didn’t have much family drama and still wedding planning wasn’t fun, the wedding will be tho!!! Hang in there

Post # 4
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

what a jerk! why would he even expect to have that right? It sounds like you’re better off without him in your life – a good father would never drop his child because he wasn’t allowed to walk her down the aisle.

Im so sorry you’re dealing with this – it can’t be easy. I think you made the right decision though and should not feel guilty about it.

Post # 5
3173 posts
Sugar bee

@OctoberBride1020:  I’m sorry to hear about your father’s decision. Just because he is your father though does not give him the “right” to walk you down the aisle and give you away. You are right to have your mother walk you down the aisle. She has been both mother and father to you for years. Do not give in and have him do it just out of guilt. You will end up regretting that.

My parents are not coming to my wedding but if they were, I would not have my father walk me down the aisle. We simply do not have that kind of relationship. I am instead choosing to walk down by myself. I would not want to fake that kind of relationship on my wedding day.

Post # 7
2436 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@OctoberBride1020:  Sweet heart, I think his response is just validation of your choice. This man is selfish, and he has no father like qualities at all. If walking someone down the aisle is more important to him than having his daughter in his life, then he is not fit to be a parent, nor is he fit for the honor.


Dont’ take it personally. He’s a selfish idiot.

Post # 8
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

his response alone tells me you made the right choice!  there is nothing like the bond between a mother and daughter.

Post # 9
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so sorry that your father responded to you in that way. It is your wedding, and you don’t owe anyone anything, no matter the tradition. It sounds like you and your mom are very close, and that is the relationship you should honor. In my opinion, you made the right choice asking your mom!

Post # 10
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

What will you do with the package? Will you reciprocate and do you destroy it? Or tuck it away somewhere just in case…


Post # 11
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@OctoberBride1020:  If he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle, he should’ve been there for those 10 years.  Seems like he made his choice a while ago.  If it were me, I’d probably send him a letter saying, hey just send me the pictures of you and I from the 10 years you were missing in my life and I’ll gladly have you walk me down the aisle.  My dad was hardly ever in my life, and when he was, it was abusive.  I didn’t even make it to the hospital or his funeral, and I don’t regret it at all.

Post # 12
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@OctoberBride1020:  I’m sorry you are going through this. Even though you have been dealing with these issues for years, it doesn’t hurt any less. 

I have an on again off again realtionship with my father. Most recently he said he wouldn’t be coming to our wedding because I did not give him a +1 (he doesn’t even have a girlfriend). You father sounds very much like mine … very self centered. I don’t give my father the pleasure of fighting back – it is more satisfying to watch him stew in his own thoughts. My Mom has CHF and MS, so she can’t really walk me down the aisle, so I will be walking alone, and will be met half way by Fiance. 

He might be your FATHER, but her certainly isn’t your DAD. He hasn’t earned the night to have the honour of walking you down the aisle. 

Post # 14
1845 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think he solidified your decision. I’m so happy for your mom! She’s going to be so happy to escort you down the aisle, and it really sounds like she’s the best person for the job.

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