(Closed) Father of Bride / Mother of Bride Solo Dance???

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Miami

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ctribride2016:  It’s not a thing but it sounds like something my parents would have asked for. Actually my mom kind of hinted at it. Personally my only objection would be adding one more structured thing that all the guests have to stop and watch. After a while, the dances and speeches can feel like “enough already” for guests. So if you don’t want to indulge them, I’d explain it that way. And you can have them pick out a song that you’ll have the DJ/band play for them… they can still dance to it without it being an “everyone stop and watch them” moment. Would that work?

If they do really insist, I wouldn’t worry so much about how well they dance. I’m sure they won’t be embarassing, even if they get some steps wrong. It’ll be cute. But I’d still have the DJ maybe fade the music out after the chorus, again, to cut down on the time where everyone else is expected to just sit and watch.

Post # 3
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m in the camp of keeping spotlight dances to the absolute minimum.  by the time the second or third one rolls around NO ONE is watching, they are waiting for the dancefloor to open.  Why do they want to do this?

Post # 4
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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ctribride2016:  Have you suggested having both sets of parents dance at the same time? I agree that a solo dance with them has the potential to be really awkward, but I also think it could be sweet if done right. You could approach it from the angle of not wanting MIL/FIL to feel left out and have both couples dance at the same time….

Post # 5
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe it’s because of the group dance lesson? I’m assuming when you say group dance lesson the wedding party (and parents) are attending that? Maybe they feel since they are attending dance lessons, to show what they’ve learned? I’ve never seen it done, but when it comes down to it, I don’t think it’s any sillier than a father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, first dance. And I know I’ll get bashed for saying that I’m used to it by now. BUT I perobally have never understood the concept of any of those dances, but maybe that’s because the few times in my life I had to dance with my dad, I hated it. In fact I really really want to cut all that from my completely. But that’s just me. 

Post # 6
47289 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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ctribride2016:  Other then the first dance by the bride and groom, I find these dances really boring for the guests. You can look around and see people drift off as the parade of dances continues.

I would do the bride/groom, then have the DJ make up a medley of songs, using only part of each, for the father/bride, mother/groom, and then both sets of parents. Each couple can choose their song, then at the end the DJ can add an uptempo song and invite all the guests  to the dance floor.

Post # 7
102 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve never seen it done, and agree that guests get sick of watching too many dances.  Maybe you can do a married couple’s dance and start with the two of them?  At our wedding, we had all of the married couples stand up and dance, and then progressively sit down based on who had been married the least amount of time.  Obviously my husband and I sat down first, then the couples who had only been married a year, five years and so on until the last couple, who had been married 50 years or so was left dancing.  Maybe though, you could start this dance with both sets of parents then have all of the other married couples join them? 

Post # 8
3329 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Do you guys want to do a solo dance (Bride/groom) for the entire song? Most people I know (not dancers!) will dance together for the first bit, maybe 1m-1.5m and then the Dj opens the floor for others. Maybe your mom&dad can join you at that point. TBH I’d feel weird about them having a private dance. nothing wrong with it, but the wedding isnt about them. Anyways, if you don’t like that idea, i’d say something along the lines of “id really rather keep the spotlight dances to a minimum. no one wants to watch us dance, they want to get up there themselves!” or something to that effect. Because yes, those dances are boring as hell for guests LOL.

Post # 9
1305 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah no.

They may be hosting but the wedding is not about them.

Post # 10
8940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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ctribride2016:  I’m agreeing with everyone else, especially
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LaHormiga:  It’s not a thing and I would try to discourage it because after the 3rd spotlight dance, nobody is watching anymore. Offer to have the DJ play their song so they can dance to it, just not a “clear the floor everyone” type thing. If they really push it though… well, it’s not the end of the world and no reason for you to be embarassed. I would insist that your future in-laws be allowed to dance at the same time if they want though.

Post # 11
948 posts
Busy bee

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ctribride2016:  No, it’s not a thing that I’ve ever seen or heard of. 

But since they are hosting the wedding, maybe meet them half way? My folks (who did not pay for our wedding) were really happy that we included thier wedding song. even though everyone could dance to it, it felt special to them. 

Can you do something that willmake your folks feel special, without literally giving them the spotlight? 

I agree with PP – if your paretns get to do it, then your inlaws should have the same chance. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  skylar84.
Post # 12
1717 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

How boring for your guests!  Watching people (often awkwardly and badly) shuffle across a dance floor is tedious! 

+1 to Daisy_Mae’s suggestion to play their song – but for EVERYONE to dance to.

We did somethign like that – we did an anniversary dance instead of a bouquet toss (all couples on floor, and people leave a little at a time until only the longest married couple was left) and we knew who would win and had the DJ immediately go into “their” song but everyone joined them for dancing.  Maybe a similar set up would work for your parents.

Post # 13
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Muhlhauser Barn

instead of having a seperate song for them maybe you should do your first dance with your Darling Husband and then have the DJ ask all the couples to join you guys in a slow dance and dance out the rest of the song. that is interactive at least for everyone 🙂 

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