Post # 1
My father is insisting on wearing a tuxedo [because “he’s always envisioned himself in a tuxedo when he walks me down the aisle”]. The groom and groomsmen are wearing dark grey suits with brown shoes.
I realize that there are no set rules…but it’s making my fiance uncomfortable that my dad wants to wear a tux. I don’t feel like I should have to dictate clothing choices for grown-ups —- but I can see my fiance’s point that my father shouldn’t be dressed more formal than he is —- and I can see my dad’s point that he wants to stand out. We need to come to an agreement. Does anyone have any ideas of how we can compromise so my dad still feels like he stands out but isn’t upstaging the groom?? Thanks 🙂
Post # 2
Not the same situation, but my dad is wearing a tux and are all the groomsmen. We had definitely discussed adding a vest to my dad’s outfit to make it “more casual.” Another good compromise is your dad wearing a regular tie with his tux, that will definitely casualize it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: The Retreat at Bradley\'s Pond
It’s amazing how crazy parents are… my family and husband and whatnot all pulled the same crap. My dad didn’t want to be in the same suit as the guys, my husband DID want that because he doesn’t have a dad and MY dad is practically a dad for him now… I know terrible problem to have that they love each other. And my husband wanted my dad in the “groomsmen” photos and wanted to look semi cohesive.
Clarify with your dad what he means by “Tux” because what I thought and what the store thought are different visions.
Does your dad want to be in a black suit, with shiny lapels and a black bow-tie? That’s a tux. And don’t let him do a cumberbund cause that’s dated unless you’re going for the funny preppy look. Even still most go with vests.
Does your dad want to be in a dark grey suit, with nice lapels and a classy tie… apparently that’s also a tux!
Are your guys wearing certain ties/vests/boutinierres etc? Show us what they all want to wear.
This is what we went with:
Groom: navy tux with navy tie
Groomsmen: grey tux with hydrangea blue ties
Dad: grey tux and pink tie.
Key to pulling off the mix and matched feel… pick a “tux” style or brand from Mens Warehouse where there’s multiple colors. So Armani may come in black, dark and light grey. So they look/fit the same. Then we picked out the same tie pattern just in different colors. So they looked nice all together- but you could see the color hierarchy in them.
Post # 4
thanks for the suggestions 🙂
first of all….LOVEEE your dress! I see what you mean with the same but different approach, it all came together amazing. He wants a legit tux…pleated shirt and all. Fiance is pretty insistent that he wear something that at least tries to compliment the groomsmen. I thought I was done with my big “ya gotta me kidding me” moment when my mom bought a dress in the same color as the bridesmaids. The most worrysome part of it for me is that he lives in another state, so I have that he doesn’t go rogue on me and that he rents what we choose.
Our wedding colors are sage green and blush — and my dress is ivory with a hint of blush in the lace details. This is what we were planning on for the guys but we still need to go to mens wearhouse to see how it looks together in person.
Groom: dark grey suit with white vest, blush tie
Best man [i should mention that my MoH is wearing a blush dress, bridesmaids are wearing sage]: dark grey suit with vest to match, blush tie.
Groomsmen: dark grey suit with vest to match suit and sage green tie.
So maybe do a different color version of the groom/groomsmen suits and then a sage/blush striped tie? And match his vest to his suit? I was hoping to have him in something with a blushy/pinky hue to it to pull the color out of my dress a little.
Post # 5
- Wedding: The Retreat at Bradley\'s Pond
I vote (if I’m allowed) no white on the guys- it doesn’t photograph well. I think for your groom to do a vest either matching the suit or the tie (grey or pink). If that’s the same as the groomsmen… then consider buying a tie (I had wanted to do this buy husband went roque on me)… as part of a gift for him as something he can wear again in the future. I wanted to do this and get the back embroidered but again hubby is crazy. I ended up buying another “rental tie” and did vinyl on the back with something sweet on it pressed in.
Or just make your best man the same as the groomsmen with a separate flower/boutinierre whatever you’re doing. My dad got pink and all of the other guys got white.
My mom and Mother-In-Law had a lot of “you gotta be kidding me” moments! I didn’t care if they wore blush (as my bridesmaids were) but I wanted my mom to pick first then my Mother-In-Law. I wanted everyone to be in matching color scheme so family photos looked nice and I’m happy with the final product. But lord the process to get there was crazy. My mom couldn’t and wouldn’t make up her mind. She wanted to be black tie formal. She practically refused to look at more casual/cocktail dresses. So everything was beaded like a homecoming dress in scandelous cuts. I mean my mom is hot but that day wasn’t the day for it. Then my Mother-In-Law complained that pink and navy were taken and kept pulling out ivory dresses and navy and scoffed at me when I said that was inappropriate. Eventually I got her to go in the purple/silver direction which looked nice together. We took photos with her brother – the uncle was also a groomsmen since again- father had passed away. Soo all of the immediate family photos look awesome and planned and tasteful. But getting there was insane.
My bridesmaids however- I said get a petal chiffon floor length gown from Davids. Pick a style. They both went one weekend- swiped cards and never once complained.
I wonder why that is! 🙂
Post # 6
First she chose a really slinky white/ivory dress…and I was just so shocked I couldn’t even be angry. After explaining why it was inappropriate for her to wear it, she went with the matching dress and it took every ounce of strength not to lose my mind. I just embraced the lunacy and went on with my day.
I never thought about the white from a photo perspective. Thanks for the tip! At least now I have a plan of attack. This whole tux debacle is the only thing fiance has really voiced an opinion about so definitely need to work it out. I think matching but different should work nicely. Thanks for your help!!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
My dad wore a velour (spelling?) suit during the ceremony, and then AS SOON as it was over he went and changed into island casual. Not even kidding, I will attach a photo. I was like………………
In the end he was happy, and all of our friends thought he was a legend bc he gave no fucks! haha. I say let dad be dad.
This is a horrible picture of me, but you can see him in his Tommy Bahama glory. Panama hat, flip flops and all.
Post # 8
This should be a pretty easy one to decide with him. What time is the ceremony? If it’s in the early afternoon, you can nix a classic tuxedo right out – it’s not appropriate for the daytime. However, if it’s an evening wedding and the overall dress code is somewhat formal, then a true tuxedo would look great.
You can frame it up like this: if black tie is appropriate for the wedding, then maybe your Fiance should look into it also. If it’s not appropriate, then nobody should be in black tie, in which case your dad should just wear a nice suit.
Post # 9
that is seriously awesome. If fiance didnt seem to be so opposed to it I wouldn’t care…part of me wants to just have the “what we’re hoping he’ll wear” conversation with him and then let him do as he wishes.
wedding it at 1:00 but it’s at a church so he could probably still justify a tux…cocktail hour doesn’t start until 5pm.