- 11 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
Bride in need of any advice you have to offer. I am going to make this as short as possible.
So, growing up I was definitely daddys girl. He suffered from post traumatic stress disorder from Vietnam. However I watched him abuse drugs, alcohol and my mom and then when she left him (finally) he continued to abuse drugs and alcohol and then left for Florida for most of my pre-teen. My mom moved on and my step-dad raised my bro and i like his own.
My dad came back while i was in high school and thought he could just pop back into my life. I tried to be as welcoming as possible but it was never the same. I was a mommas girl ever since.
Well here it is. My big day happens in June, my dad and i have always bumped heads but we have both tried at our relationship. He is dying from emphysema and he has been on oxygen for a couple years. I love him but we just do not get along.
He asked who was walking me down the aisle, and as fellow bees, you know I have thought about this day forEVER, so I knew the answer to that. I replied almost immediate “You and Roger both(my stepdad)” That is what I want. He seemed ok with it but a week or so later he told me he was hurt that I didnt even hesitate with my answer and told me that if it wasnt for his heath he wouldnt even go to my wedding. Meaning, if he was healthier and i chose to have both people walk me down the aisle, he wouldnt attend, the thinks since he is my dad he should do it but since he is one foot in the grave he is ok that Roger is doing it as well.
So, i asked my dad to pay for one thing. The food. 3500 bux. Its the only expense I asked him to cover. He originally told me that I could count on him for anything, little did I know he expected me to get married in a courthouse like he did. He is so unreliable.
Now i have 5-6 months before my big day and no money. He told me that he will give me what he can before he dies. I guess the doc told him he had 4-6 months to live back in Nov. I meet with the caterer on Monday to give her a few hundred bux to hold my date. He promised me 300 a month for the time he still has to live (which who knows)
My dad and I constantly fight about it cause i think he should be reliable and follow through since my mom and stepdad and my FH and me are covering the rest. Now part of me wants to try to pay for the food without anything from my dad my FH says thats fine but he doesnt think my dad deserves to be at our wedding. Part of me agrees part of me doesnt know
To top it off, my dad constantly talks about how he is dying and unsure about how much time he has left on this earth. (I have heard this same story for 6 years- the man wants nothing to do but die) and i have the attitude that i am sorry youre gonna die but my life still has to go on
Am i a total selfish Bee-otch?
What would you do? Please help and thank you so much for reading my drama.
***I guess one of the bigger opinions I am seeking is….Lets say that my dad doesnt come through financially but he lives long enough til my wedding. Do I still let him walk me down the aisle and be involved?***