Post # 1
this a bit of an ethics/etiquette post.We just had a wonderful home/backyard wedding for our daughter and her now husband. Delightful.
The groom’s parents are divorced and they split the cost of the rehearsal dinner ,although at first the the grooms father was not going to pay for the alcohol, even though they drink.He contributed nothing to the wedding itself even though his family comprised 1/3 of the guest list.
We were thinking he might give them a nice gift or help with the honeymoon but he hasn’t done either.is it common for the father of the groom to not give the couple a gift at least?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Meh…. gifts are a nice gesture, but not a requirement. Many familioes don’t contribute anything to the cost of the wedding or give gifts. It really all depends on the relationships themselves and the financial situation of the individuals. Honestly, if the groom has an issue with it, he can take it up with his dad. But if it were us, we would be greatful for their presence at our wedding and leave it be. It’s not worth any potential bad blood.
Post # 4
Traditionally, the groom’s family is responsible for the rehearsal dinner, and a few very minor other wedding day things. Perhaps he’s not in a situation to give extra money (after all, we don’t know what his bank account looks like). For what it’s worth, my fiance’s family is hosting the rehearsal dinner and nothing else, and they also comprise about 1/3 of the wedding guest list. While it would have been nice for him to get a nice gift for the couple or contribute some other way, weddings aren’t about gifts. I think that (1) gifts between the couple and their guests shouldn’t really be your concern, and (2) the wedding has gone by, so don’t dwell on this and enjoy the memories and your new son-in-law.
Post # 5
If he split the cost of the rehersal dinner, he did contribute and give a gift, in my opinion.
In this day and age, I don’t think either set of parents (or parent) are required to help pay for the wedding at all. It’s fantastic that you helped pay but not everyone is in a position to due so.
Post # 6
While I don’t think gifts are a requirement, I DO think that as a parent, you should give a card at the VERY least. If our friends can go out of their way to give us a card, our parents should too. A wedding is a big deal, and I feel that if gifts/cards should come from anyone, it should come from the parents/family.
Now – I say card because they DID pay for what they could, so that in itself is a huge deal as it meant you didn’t have to pay for it, or your daughter, or anyone else. That, to me, is a good wedding gift. A card for acknowledgement would’ve been nice, though.
Post # 7
Nope. No one has to give anything. My in laws (groom’s parents) paid for rehearsal dinner and alcohol.
I personally think that the couple should be responsible for their own honeymoon.
Post # 8
I understand you’re hurt for your daughter and son-in-law, but it’s between them and his father. Is he a jerk for not helping more? Probably. But his son probably also knows that and to not expect more.
I did not tell my in-laws what my parents gifted us (china and a wedding dress) or my parents what my in-laws gifted us (a LOT of money). They aren’t competing.
Post # 9
Yup, that is common. He contributed to the rehearsal dinner, which was more than required. I find it so funny when people are concerned with who gave what for the wedding. If a couple is grown up enough to get married, they are grown up enough to pay for it themselves.
Post # 10
I think it’s odd that people expect to get gifts and have people contribute for their weddings. Anything anyone chooses to do, or give, is generous, in my eyes.
He paid for half of the rehearsal dinner, which was more than enough.