(Closed) Father of the Groom's financial responsibility

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Meh…. gifts are a nice gesture, but not a requirement. Many familioes don’t contribute anything to the cost of the wedding or give gifts. It really all depends on the relationships themselves and the financial situation of the individuals. Honestly, if the groom has an issue with it, he can take it up with his dad. But if it were us, we would be greatful for their presence at our wedding and leave it be. It’s not worth any potential bad blood.

Post # 4
13289 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Traditionally, the groom’s family is responsible for the rehearsal dinner, and a few very minor other wedding day things.  Perhaps he’s not in a situation to give extra money (after all, we don’t know what his bank account looks like).  For what it’s worth, my fiance’s family is hosting the rehearsal dinner and nothing else, and they also comprise about 1/3 of the wedding guest list.  While it would have been nice for him to get a nice gift for the couple or contribute some other way, weddings aren’t about gifts.  I think that (1) gifts between the couple and their guests shouldn’t really be your concern, and (2) the wedding has gone by, so don’t dwell on this and enjoy the memories and your new son-in-law.

Post # 5
2424 posts
Buzzing bee

If he split the cost of the rehersal dinner, he did contribute and give a gift, in my opinion. 

In this day and age, I don’t think either set of parents (or parent) are required to help pay for the wedding at all. It’s fantastic that you helped pay but not everyone is in a position to due so. 

Post # 6
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While I don’t think gifts are a requirement, I DO think that as a parent, you should give a card at the VERY least. If our friends can go out of their way to give us a card, our parents should too. A wedding is a big deal, and I feel that if gifts/cards should come from anyone, it should come from the parents/family.

Now – I say card because they DID pay for what they could, so that in itself is a huge deal as it meant you didn’t have to pay for it, or your daughter, or anyone else. That, to me, is a good wedding gift. A card for acknowledgement would’ve been nice, though. 

Post # 7
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Nope. No one has to give anything. My in laws (groom’s parents) paid for rehearsal dinner and alcohol.

I personally think that the couple should be responsible for their own honeymoon.

Post # 8
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand you’re hurt for your daughter and son-in-law, but it’s between them and his father.  Is he a jerk for not helping more?  Probably.  But his son probably also knows that and to not expect more. 

I did not tell my in-laws what my parents gifted us (china and a wedding dress) or my parents what my in-laws gifted us (a LOT of money).  They aren’t competing.

Post # 9
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yup, that is common.  He contributed to the rehearsal dinner, which was more than required.  I find it so funny when people are concerned with who gave what for the wedding.  If a couple is grown up enough to get married, they are grown up enough to pay for it themselves.

Post # 10
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s odd that people expect to get gifts and have people contribute for their weddings. Anything anyone chooses to do, or give, is generous, in my eyes.

He paid for half of the rehearsal dinner, which was more than enough.

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