Post # 1
Background: My parents got divorced when I was 4 years old. Three years later, my mother remarried and is happy to this day. My father on the other hand, has gone thru more girlfriends than I can count, the relationships never lasting long.
Present day: My father told me he wants to bring his current fling to my wedding as his guest. He has never met this women, as she lives across the country. They’re been “talking” for a few months now and she is planning on taking a trip here in July to meet him.
Here’s the thing: MY Fiance and I have worked really hard on the guest list to keep in under 100 people. We are inviting only our closest friends and family. I distinctly remember going to my cousins wedding and my dad’s then girlfriend made it into the FAMILY photos…and she is now long gone.
As much as I want my father (who is somewhat of the black sheep of the family) to have someone to be with and have company at the wedding, I feel like this is an inappropriate time for me (and the rest of the family!) to meet her. My father hasn’t even met her in person! I just have visions of her sneaking into my family wedding photos…ahhh.
I’m thinking of telling my father that we are keeping our wedding small, only inviting closest friends and family. I am even thinking of offering to do lunch with them while she is in town visiting to meet her.
Any advice bees?
Post # 3
I think that your closest family, being pretty much honored guests, should get a +1.
you will have plenty of photos that she’s not in.
Post # 4
Try to talk to your dad about your feelings on this. I mean I’m guessing you two are the only one’s paying for the wedding and that could be what you use… cost, the venue only allows a certain # and that’s all, no flexibility in that. I’d ask too, if the woman is aware that this is his daughters wedding.. his family will be there etc., it’s kind of overwhelming to meet someone for a blind date to their daughters wedding.
If you do change your mind about her coming, I’d sit down with your dad and explain that she sits behind the family during the ceremony, and that she is not in ANY of the family pictures.
Post # 5
Let your dad have a plus one. Just make it clear to him that she’s not going to be in any photos.
Post # 6
I agree with you. Chat with your dad and tell him how you feel. I can’t imagine he will argue with you. it’s your big day and you’re his little girl and he will want you to be happy and not uncomfortable.
It’s inappopriate to bring her on your wedding day, it’s hard enough meeting her at a dinner or something. I’m sure daddy knows he’s the black sheep and probably doesn’t want to come alone to the wedding.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
@arendiva: agree with keeping her out of the photos, just let your photographer know as well
If you dont let him have a date, will there be anyone else there for him to enjoy himself with?? My decision would be based on that
Post # 8
I completely agree with you. I would NOT want my father bringing a random person to my wedding. If I were you I would just tell him that due to the size of your venue you are maxed out on guests and you will meet her another time. Also throw in that he will be busy as Father of the Bride and she might feel neglected. Good Luck!
Post # 9
Thank you ladies, I appreciate all your responses. To answer some questions, yes he would have other people at the wedding to keep him company and enjoy himself with.
We are paying for everything ourselves and are already 10 people over our guest limit (we’re assuming we will have some people not able to attend).
I just do not want a stranger at my wedding that doesn’t know ANYONE. It just does not seem like the appropriate time to meet her. I am all for my father finding happiness and someone to be with, but I’d rather meet her some other time. If the rest of his family knew he was wanting to bring her, they wouldn’t be pleased either. I think I will talk to my father and tell him we really want to keep our wedding small and intimate, with just our closest family members.