Post # 63
Parents don’t OWE their adult kids anything. No wedding. No college. No Disney vacation. Those who get such generous gifts from their parents are very fortunate, and hopefully they’ll understand that. In fact, my mom was an awesome single mom after my father passed away, and I regularly turn down her offers of gifts. Buy me dinner now and then? Sure! But pay towards my wedding? oh hells no! My mom worked hard all her life. It’s her money and she should spend it on herself, and she should be my guest at my wedding.
Post # 63
Actuallly you are all wrong. Parents do owe their kids love, and support. Neglecting to show support financially shows that he doesn’t care about her. You spend your money on things that you care about. Where there is a will there is a way. It sounds like all of the people telling you to pay for it on your own are in denial that their parents care deeply about them, but they are actually angry about paying for it and taking it out on the OP. I understand her hurt feelings, no deserves to be neglected. For a father to expect to be honored at a wedding and have any input about anything he should contribute financially. I would tell him how you feel, you are not a brat and you have every right to be upset and feel hurt/angry that he doesn’t want to support you emotionally/financially. He has been a shitty person in the past, so he will continue to be a shitty person who puts his needs above yours which is the opposite of what a parent is supposed to do. I would not invite him as an honored guest, and seriously consider whether you want to continue your relationship with a neglectful, absentee/abusive person. The answer is step up or step out of your life!
Post # 63
this thread is 5 years old.
Post # 64
wow… what a shallow, materialistic vision you have if you can only believe love is shown through money – I feel sorry for that though process, it must be a pretty lonely one
YOU want to get married then YOU pay… its called being an adult, stop coasting of others and grow up – your parent dedicated 18 years of their life to raising you into an adult now start acting like one and stop thinking your entitled to a life long free ride (and stop emotionally blackmailing people)
love is a two way street and you obviously dont care about your parents if they are only a cashpoint to you
Post # 65
I wouldn’t expect either parents to contribute to the wedding, and my parents definitely didn’t pay for my college fees.
Post # 66
Removed, just saw the date of the thread.