(Closed) Father's Day and overbearing MIL

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
2120 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly I’m usually one to side with the Mother-In-Law but this seems inappropriate to me. The bitch has had her turn, Father’s Day is not about her in any way, shape, or form. I think your DH should thank his mum but tell her it’s weird that she did this. Because it is. Weird. 

Post # 17
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I wouldn’t get upset about it if I were you.  I would just go ahead give him the shirts, have him wear them on Sunday and let her stew……………she’ll either learn a lesson to communicate with you or that it is no longer her place to do this or she’ll be a crankypants and show her own true colors.  

Post # 19
13788 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
weddingbliss1028 :  I see what you mean. In that case, I think it’s a bit presumptous, yes. 

Post # 23
2798 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

DON’T CONCEDE.  It should not even be a question for him – you should always come first.  If you give in now, your Mother-In-Law will be buying your son his first Halloween costume, Christmas outfit, and birthday outfit.  Also, DWIL Nation will be of help to you.  

Post # 24
9311 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
weddingbliss1028 :  all the more reason to give him your set and ask him to wear it! It doesn’t make you horribly mean and ungrateful if you don’t have use for a hyper specific gift. I have received PLENTY of gifts that I appreciated, thanked the giver for, and prompty returned or gave away. It’s the thought that counts. And in your MIL’s case her thought is not well intentioned – it’s to be a buttinski. 

Post # 25
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

my mom bought me a mothers day outfit for my baby to wear on mothers day.  so did my husband.  i put her in the one from my husband.  i packed the one from my mom in the diaper bag in case the other one got pooped on or whatnot.  we always put each other before our parents, its just our way.  i say buy your outfit.  it will probably mean more to him from you anyway.  he can always just wear one a different day anyway.

Post # 26
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Don’t give in. Also head over to DWIL or All in the Family on BabyCenter.

Post # 27
1127 posts
Bumble bee

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garnobella :  I agree.  It’s fing weird.  MIL did not conceive the child with your DH & Mother-In-Law did not birth it.  I wouldn’t be mean bc she probably didn’t mean to be vindictive, but I’m glad you stood your ground.  Not an overreaction.


edit: do not concede!  Your mil is basically asking you to put her in her place.  You have more to lose than she does.  She can get over being pouty, but you will not get another first Father’s Day. 

It’s a slippery slope 

Post # 29
474 posts
Helper bee

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weddingbliss1028 :  Your feelings are valid, imo. Your Mother-In-Law needs to learn to let his son go and have his life ! seriously! The story you described may seem like a trivial matter but it just shows how much she’s still seeing your husband as “her son”, not a man with a family of his own. It’s unfortunate that a lot of parents lack the ability to “let go” and cause a lot of stress on their son/daughter’s life… Why on earth is SHE buying that for your husband and baby? She should be buying something for your Father-In-Law and full stop. That’s the boundary.. and if you cross the boundary, it causes friction. 

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