Post # 1
Ok let me preface this with, I happen to like my father’s new wife’s adult children, but we are not close and see them maybe once a year. My parents divorced when I was an adult and he remarried- so his wife, has always been just that, his wife- not my step-mother (in my eyes). We are looking to keep our wedding number managable and within a certain budget that we are NOT willing to move on. So inviting her kids and their spouses means that we have to cut friends that we’ve known our whole lives or people that my fiance surved in the military with. Our families are gigantic and account for about 80% of our wedding guests, we really want to leave the rest of the space for our dear friends. So the question is- do we NEED to invite Dad’s new wife’s adult children?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t, unless you suddenly get room.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t think so. Would you be offended if they didn’t invite you? I guess explain the situation to your dad and see what he says.
Post # 5
Do you spend holidays together? Have you every been invited to their showers/wedding/birthdays?
This may something you should run by your father for advice, rather than the bee, as he may feel very strongly one way of the other and his opinion probably matters the most .
Post # 6
@littleblackdog: I’ve got “step-siblings” like that and I say no. On the rare occasions I meet them we’re friendly enough, but we never invite each other to our own events. The way I see it, the wife married into your family, but her adult children did not. I see it as analogous to my sister’s husband’s siblings and parents – my sister’s husband married into our family, but his parents and siblings did not.
p.s. It would be different if the wife’s children were living with her. But now they are independent adults, and independent adults don’t get invited to an event just because their parents do.
Post # 7
My mom isn’t remarried, but her long term “friend” has two adult children. We grew up knowing his kids too (we all went to the same church growing up, but there isn’t anything weird/bad/inappropriate there–well after both were divorced) but aren’t close to them.
Both live across the country and I would assume wouldn’t fly home for my wedding, but I also don’t want to offend them (or obligate them to send us a gift). Glad to hear it sounds like people think its fine not to invite in your situation, and I also think you are ok not inviting them (as long as your dad’s ok with it).
Post # 8
My mom has “step siblings” like that. I don’t really view them as my aunts and uncles, and she doesn’t view them as her siblings. (Although it’s a weird situation where my grandpa married my grandma’s cousin, so everyone was already related…so we just see them as extended cousins) She doesn’t expect me to invite them to my wedding, nor does she invite them to events that she hosts.
You could run it by your dad, but I would imagine you’ll be okay not inviting them.
Post # 9
We had a very similar situation. We kept our wedding to 30 guests. Just married 3 weeks ago. But people started inviting themselves! Shes not your mother nor step mother therefor you have no real relationship besides my dads wifes children.
Post # 10
@littleblackdog: I agree with the advice to run this by your father.