(Closed) Father/Step-father/Mother Drama

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is there any way that you could be walked by both?  Maybe one walks you halfway and the other walks you the other half?  I understand that your stepfather might be hurt because he did help to raise you for most of your life but your biological father is your father as well.

Post # 4
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

can they both walk you? like bio dad walks you half way and trades off to step dad? or how about eliminate both dads and walk with mom?

Post # 5
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Haha FutureMrsMorgan we thought the same thing!

Post # 6
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I know this is very hard. I have a similar situation and can relate. I would say like most, do what you want to do it’s your wedding. They will all get along that day for you because they all  love you. If you want your bio father to walk you down, have a special stepfather/daughter dance at the wedding. Just try to include them both in some special way. It will all work out! Good luck. 

Post # 7
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think Mrs.Morgan has the right idea in this situation.  Might be best to walk with your mom, or alone. 

Post # 8
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh no!  I’m so sorry – I totally understand the difficulties of balancing between parents who vehemently dislike each other.  (I’m trying to figure out how I can keep my mom and dad seperated for the duration of the wedding festivities).  🙁  Can you try explaining to your mom that it is really important to you to have your father walk you down the aisle and that you don’t mean it as an affront to your step-father?  Maybe you could talk to your step-father too and explain to him why this is important to you.  Maybe you could do something else to honor your step-father?

Also, would your biological father not come to the wedding if he wasn’t walking you down the aisle?  Her argument that “everyone is going to hate [your] bio father at the wedding” doesn’t seem to make sense if he was still going to be coming to the wedding. 

I’m sorry this is so frustrating. 🙁

Post # 9
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was actually going to say the exact same thing as MissAsB and FutureMrsMorgan.  I like idea of one walking you 1/2 way down and trading off.  Perhaps the man who walks you down first will then follow behind so if you’re having your officiant ask, ‘Who presents this woman for marriage’  maybe they can both say, ‘We do.’

Just a thought.

Post # 10
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Didn’t one of the bees do the half and half walk like you guys are suggesting?  I feel like I remember that.  You could always have them both walk you at the same time (but I’m not sure if that would also cause more tension).  Maybe sitting down with your mom and explaining it carefully, telling her your feelings would help?  I know if I sat down with my mom and explained to her how important this was to me and why I changed my mind she would be understanding.

I’m sorry this is hard for you.  My fiance’s parents are divorced and he is constantly put in the middle, it hurts so much.  You will figure it out.

Post # 12
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

Stay strong!

Post # 13
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You should have them both walk you down the aisle. They should both be honored that you asked and agree to it. If your mom has such a problem with it you need to talk to her and stress that this is your big day and she is the only person ruining it.

Post # 14
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would have them both walk you down.  You need to explain to your mom that just because she HATES your father, doesn’t mean that you do.  And at the end of the day, your wedding is about you, and she can’t tell you what you can or can’t do for that day.

Post # 15
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Can you talk to your stepfather about it and figure it out with him? It seems to me that his opinion matters more than your mom’s in this situation. Maybe he’ll be more understanding than she is. If you get him on your side and your mom sees that he is not upset, she may come around as well.

Post # 16
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with the other posters – I would get them both to walk you – I like the half and half idea and you can even get your mom to walk with you on the part with your step-dad to include everyone!

Good Luck!

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