(Closed) Favor/Donation Etiquette

posted 8 years ago in Favors
Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Etiquette-wise, this is okay, but think about whether it goes with the theme of your wedding or whether your guests would appreciate it. I usually think it’s presumptuous for someone to make a donation in my name–I’d rather choose what charities my name is associated with. But only you know your guests and what they would like. 

Post # 4
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m doing the same thing, and therefore I think that it’s a great idea. Fiance and I have heard some grumbles from one of our parents, that we won’t have favours to hand out to our guests, but really, what’s more important? Donating hundreds of dollars to charity, or buying everyone a shot glass?

Post # 6
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, I think that you can donate in honor of your wedding, but should not consider it a favor to your guests.  That doesn’t mean you need to have other favors, just that you should not be telling your guests that it is a gift to them or is in lieu of favors.  After all, they do not benefit from it, and indeed they may totally disagree with the charity you chose.  And the fact that you gave to a charity does not really preclude your having favors if you wanted to.  Just do without the favors (which are never necessary for a wedding).

Think of it this way:  If your charitable contributions were high enough that they interfered with buying other things for your wedding, would you announce it to your guests?  “Instead of a Pronovias dress, I bought this David’s Bridal dress and donated the savings to XYZ charity.”  “Instead of orchids, I used these wildflowers in our centerpieces and donated the savings to XYZ charity.”  If you don’t think of your charitable contributions as being in lieu of specific things for you, why should they be in lieu of specific things for your guests?

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My charitable donation will definitely be in lieu of favours. I’m donating to the Cancer Society, and having had a number of close family and friends who have survived cancer, and some who have not, I think that it should be a charity that all of my guests should support. I frequently donate to charity, it’s part of who I am. Just like those people who give away teas, or flower seeds, or chocolate as favours, do it because it has meaning to them.

Post # 8
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I love the donation as a favor idea, but I would recommend giving your guests a choice. (There are lots of creative ideas of how to do that on WeddingBee.) Truthfully, if the favor donation made in my name was to a Haitian charity I would think that was nice, but if there is religion involved in the donation made in my name, I would be uncomfortable with that.

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