(Closed) Favors from friends= Awkward

posted 7 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If that isn’t the terms of the original agreement, you shouldn’t give her anymore money.  Frankly, I find this very concerning.  Her money problems are not your problem.  If she is seeing you as a friend, rather than as a client, does this also mean that she will not edit your pictures as thoroughly as she would a “real” client?  Does this also mean that she will take much longer to get everything done since you two are “friends?” Photographers who have money problems also may leave you high and dry on your wedding day.  One of my closest friends paid in full for her photographer, who went out of business and she did not even receive the negatives/ unretouched digital images from their wedding.  Since this is your friend, hopefully they wouldn’t do that, but this whole scenario reeks of wrong.

Post # 4
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Kandiss16:  She’s a friend of a friend and she’s doing this? I mean, she’s essentially asking for a loan. On top of that just being weird when you’re not close, she is doing this to a CLIENT. So unprofessional. I don’t know what I’d do in your case (since you want to maintain good relations if you continue to use her) but I do feel for you!!

Post # 6
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with PP. I’m not a fan of someone would take advantage of the “friend” relationship to ask something of you that she wouldn’t otherwise ask a regular client. I would stick with what is in the contract because if something goes wrong with this relationship and you had to take her to small claims court or something, it could be considered your problem since you didn’t follow the terms of the contract.

I would just say you hadn’t budgeted for extra payments to her at this time and in all likelihood, she will have to wait until the day of to get her payment. You understand if this is a problem and she’s welcome to refund your deposit if this poses a problem to her and she wants to break the contract. Otherwise, thank her for her consideration.

Post # 7
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If I were you, I would forgo the $250 that you already gave her and find another photographer.  If she is just a friend of a friend, that isn’t even a friendship to rely upon to make sure that you don’t get screwed.

As someone who has been married for about 3 years now, looking back, the areas to spend your money on your wedding is the photography and videography.  After the wedding is over, it’s the only thing you have left from your wedding (other than your actual marriage).  It’s how you will be able to remember the incredible moments that you will actually forget because the day is such a whirlwind and the way to share your day with your children down the road.  Skimping on this, is the wrong area, in my opinion… especially if there is a chance that you get ROYALLY screwed and end up with nothing in the end.  If this girl leaves you high and dry on your wedding day, you have no photographer.

Post # 8
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think it’s that bad, but I would just be honest with her “Sorry, but because we planned to pay you on the wedding day, we don’t have room in our budget right now to pay you earlier than X date, and even then, it can only be X amount.”

Post # 9
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would just say that you weren’t prepared to make a payment until the wedding day and are unable to. 

Is it unprofessional? Yes.

Did you hire a friend who gave you the “friend price”? Yes.

Does it surprise me that she isn’t being 100% professional… Not really, I think that’s the risk you run when you hire a “friendor.” (BTW, my photographer is also a friendor, so I get it.)

Post # 10
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Americano:  +1

Just say you don’t have the money, and with all your wedding expenses won’t have it until the day. 

Also have my Future Sister-In-Law doing photography for us, so I know it can be annoying, but that’s one of those things you expect when you save money that way.

Post # 11
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Run away from this situation. Your friend of a friend can’t afford to be a photographer charging you what she is charging and that paired with the weird and unprofessional behavior . . . you are setting yourself up for a potential disaster here.

Post # 12
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@mariematt:  +1  This is exactly right.  It’s just not worth it.

Post # 14
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Kandiss16:  I would just say something like:

Dear Photographer,

I am very excited about our upcoming engagement photos (or you can say you can’t wait to see your engagement photos if you’ve already had them taken)! My budget won’t allow a pre-payment at this time, however we will have the remainder of our payment on (date). Thanks!



I’d just keep it really short & simple. Honestly, its a lot easier to pay vendors a few weeks before the wedding – I don’t take money the day of because it can get complicated. Plus you don’t want to worry about paying your vendors on your wedding day!

Post # 15
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Kandiss16:  i veiw this a little different. She is a friend a friend. You do not essentially know where she is coming from with needing to ask for the money. Life happens. People do things they normally wouldn’t when they are desperate. I’m not someone who is quick judge. I would just explain to her you do not have the money budgeted to pay her i. full right now. Surely she would understand that. 🙂

Post # 16
739 posts
Busy bee

I know this is all you can afford that PLEASE PLEASE know that your friend is being paid Much less than minimum wage to work on providing you with wedding photos. actually when all said and done she will probably end up loosing money. Hopefully your wedding will be awesome and she will get good photos to add to her portfolio.

Here is a breakdown for you.

  • Eng Session Plan & Prep: 1 hour
  • Eng Session Shoot: 2+ hours
  • Eng Session Edit: 10+ Hours
  • Eng Session Delivery: 1 hour
  • Wedding Plan & Prep: 4 Hours
  • Wedding shoot: 12+ hours
  • Wedding Upload, Edit & Backup: 60 HOURS
  • Wedding Delivery: 3 hours
  • Book Design: 8 Hours
  • Book Ordering: 1 hour
  • Book Delivery: 1 Hour

If my math is correct that’s around 104 hours. So $800 – Cost of book {$100} = $6.73 an hour, just for YOUR wedding. This doesn’t take in account if she had to rent equipment or pay ANY of her overhead costs of her business. Assuming she has a full-time job, she does all her photography work on nights and weekends. Which makes it even more challenging.

Do I think what she did was unprofessional, hell yes. But that’s just it, she’s not a professional, she’s a newbie trying to get her start by charging slave wages in order to build a portfolio so hopefully she can eventually learn to be a good photographer and a great business person.

Running a photography business is extremely expensive to run. Her gear she’s using cost at the minimum three times what you are paying for. Hopefully she has a backup, so you can double that cost. Shes probably working her ass off and loosing her ass at the same time because she charges way less than what it costs to actually do this as a legitimate business.

So she ran out of money and had to do one of the most humiliating things any human has to do and that’s ask pretty much strangers for money. Do I think you should give it to her? That’s up to you. She may need the money to stay in business. On the other hand once newbies realize how expensive it is and how much work it really is, they close shop, though a few thrive and become stable and even successful. If you do, I would get a new contract that says you will receive your photos within 4 weeks since you went out of your way to pay beforehand.

Here is a link to a post I commented on about hiring newbies and managing expectations.


Sorry for any typos I’m on my phone

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