Post # 1
Member
44 posts
Newbee
Okay bees,
I swear- I use this site for advice and read what I can to resolve a situation so I don’t have to start a new thread.
My bridesmaids have been asked- I did a little card and a gift and presented it to them when I asked (something I just wanted to do- and it was an excuse to make something J)
Now… a few weeks later. My Maid/Matron of Honor posted a picture of it on FB and tagged me (duh!)- I didn’t have a problem with it (she asked first- and everyone in the wedding party has been told). The thing is- this one friend- who was a friend ages ago and we’ve drifted apart the past two years. Is blowing up my phone with texts and FB messages- along with comments on the picture about how she should have been told she wasn’t in the party- she should have been asked in the first place and I’m a horrible person. My mother, brothers, inlaws- can all see this because I’m tagged.
I’ve asked my Maid/Matron of Honor to take the photo down just to get the girl to stop! I hated doing it because she was so excited. She just wouldn’t calm down. The photo is down- but the comments have been seen. I’m still getting texts from this girl.
I do know I’ve answered my dilemma about even inviting her to the wedding (I’m not!) I just- is it even worth talking to her about it? The drifting apart and I had to draw a line somewhere of who would stand up for me.
Or do I just block her on FB and on my phone. I personally don’t even feel like trying with her anymore. Is this normal pre-wedding behavior from people? If it is- I’m more inclined to just go to the courthouse and get the wedding over with and the marriage started! I want my non-drama life back.
Post # 2
Member
10424 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’d just block her if you don’t care about her.
Or i’d tell her she is being batshit insane and to get a grip before I block her.
Post # 3
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
Nope, this is some crazy shit. Good for you for recognizing that this is no good and you needed to stand up for yourself. Yes, block her. Block her number. Block her on facebook. She has just demonstrated exactly why she isn’t in the wedding. This is not normal, so don’t let her insane nonsense bring you down! Congratulations! This is a happy time!
Post # 4
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
Block her, she’s not any kind of friend if that’s what she’s doing. You can change your FB settings so you can review tags in the future 🙂
Post # 5
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
Her reaction is not normal. If your friendship has been over for two years you need to move on and she shouldn’t have any expectations.
You don’t owe her anything it’s your wedding and you decide who gets to be by your side.
Post # 6
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
Absolutely ignore her. Bad behavior shouldn’t be rewarded with attention, if at all possible. Do what you need to in order to insulate yourself from her unpleasantness.
I’m so sorry that her totally inappropriate antics are bumming you out. You clearly made the right choice by not asking her to be in the party or come to your wedding. Yikes.
Post # 7
Member
2798 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Block her – be the “black hole” (nothing comes out!). She’s in the wrong in pretty much every way – particularly in that you “should have told her she wasn’t in the party” as telling someone they’re NOT included is super rude! Block her on FB and your phone and forget about it 🙂
Post # 8
Member
11373 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Just reading this I want to run so far away from her. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK and never let a crazy person stop you from doing what you want to do just because they’re needy. Her problem, all the way.
Post # 9
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Yeah, just block her lol.
Post # 10
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
Eek I had something like this happen to me, not wedding related. I and a few others blocked her.
I was was so worried about it because it was public but after a bit some people stood up to her and some other people told me privately they thought she was nuts.
Everyone reading it probably thinks she is a horrible person but they may not confront her because she is clearly crazy.
Post # 11
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
iceteebride : how old is this girl… who you ask to be in your wedding is literally.. YOUR BUSINESS.. you can ask 20 girls, or none at all.. the only time I give exceptions for people getting a little upset is when biological sisters get excluded from a large wedding party… and clearly, this girl is neither your sister, nor a close friend to you at present day. She not only just uninvited herself from your wedding, but also you life.. cut her loose and save yourself from unnecessary stress!
Post # 12
Member
13785 posts
Honey Beekeeper
This person sounds unhinged , but her behavior illustrates the extreme end of what I’d consider to be a predictable reaction of hurt when someone who considers themselves a good friend has the evidence of a heartfelt invitation to be your Bridesmaid or Best Man rubbed right in her face.
It was IMO inconsiderate for your Bridesmaid or Best Man to post that photo and you essentially opened yourself up to hurting peoples’ feelings when you allowed it.
That said, the reaction was over the top and immature. The upset friend should have kept her feelings to herself. You did not owe her any sort of heads up. Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is not an entitlement for anyone and invitations are supposed to be inclusive, not exclusive.
FB comments and tagged photos are seen and read by people you know. If you wouldn’t show or say it to someone’s face, don’t post it.
Post # 13
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
Tell her that you aren’t friends and she shouldn’t contact you anymore. Then block her.