(Closed) FB friend engaged AGAIN?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ummm Im on engagement #3 in the past 5 years….

1st. one: nice guy at first but very controling, proposed after only 9 months because he didnt like guys hitting on me and he thought that if I had a ring on my hand guys would leave me alone. It didnt work out because his family was extremely controling, abusive, and just overall mean to me. After a while I started to see what my life would really be like if I stayed with him. It was really really hard but I knew that if I didnt get out I would be miserable and live a life of physical and mental abuse.

2nd one: Guy I grew up with, was very close to his family but he was in the military and stationed in California. He proposed when he got back from 8 months in Afghanastan, while I was visiting him in Cali. The engagement only lasted 3 days because he was a totally different person and had been lying about a LOT of things. I felt deceived and betrayed.

Obviously I am now with my current Fiance and he’s amazing and I feel so thankful that it didnt work out with the other guys. Just so you know tho, I get a lot of crap from people for having been engaged before and its very hurtful. Ending both of the previous relationships was very hard. I never asked to be proposed to but what choice do you have once it happens if you dont want the relationship to end? Saying no would be a slap in the face and would basically ruin the relationship.       But on the other hand I have had people try to be nice about it and just say that I must really be “wife” material. lol

Post # 4
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Misslc86:  I can completely understand that it’s tough for you to see people getting engaged all around you, and you’re still waiting.  We’ve all been there in that sucky waiting period, where it seemed everyone and their mother was getting engaged. 

Just remember that your facebook friend has had to go through two breakups in the past four years, while I’m assuming you’ve been with your SO that entire time.  Would you rather have your SO, or a ring on your finger? – Although I know you’d rather have both! Wink

Post # 5
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That’s just proof that a ring doesn’t fix relationship problems or make anything more stable.  Be thankful you’re in a stable relationship and working on making it healthy so that it lasts a long time.

Post # 6
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

It could either be situations like @LLRininger‘s OR it could be that she’s crazy pressuring them to do it. And then the engagements don’t work out because they were formed under pressure rather than on their own terms.

Post # 7
Member
3691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

An engagement does not a stable and loving relationship make.

Post # 8
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m on my second engagement in 4 years. First guy was really nice UNTIL I had the ring; then he beat the crap out of me almost daily. And now my current Fiance is the best in all ways that matter to thingy our day will come and it will be the day youve been waiting for and dreaming of. 

Post # 9
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

Ha, I know what you mean.

FIs ex has been engaged so many times on facebook. When she last changed her status, no one even commented about it because it was such a ‘non-event’. Needless to say, they broke up. She saw that Fiance and I had gotten engaged and she deleted him! Probably because our engagement is ‘real’.

Gutted for her.

Post # 10
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I can see why you are upset b/c you are still waiting….just try not to compare your relationship to hers even though it can be hard not to do.

I have a friend that has been engaged 3 times.  One time she cancelled her wedding a month before.  The last time they were divorced within 6 months b/c he started cheating on her after the wedding.  I remember her second engagement and the both of us were at a baby shower and she informed everyone she was gonna have a baby when she 27 and then another at 29…I told her not to plan out her life like that (b/c of my own infertility issues.)  She is over 30 now and currently not dating anyone.  She’s so embarrassed of her failed relationships that she refuses to talk to any of her old friends anymore….including me 🙁

Post # 12
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

@Misslc86:  I think we all have our shortcomings, but sometimes it’s nice to vent. 

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