Post # 1
I have an acquaintance on FB that has just gotten engaged for the THIRD time (yes, that’s three different fiancés) in the past 4 years. I am irrationally irritated right now–what the hell is she doing to get all these proposals? I do realize that clearly all these engagements aren’t working out for whatever reason and there really isn’t anything to be jealous of, but man does seeing this girl get engaged for the third time make this waiting day so much more difficult! I’m starting to wonder if she won’t be on engagement number five before SO finally pops the question! OK, silly mini-vent over, I feel better now! 😛
Post # 3
Ummm Im on engagement #3 in the past 5 years….
1st. one: nice guy at first but very controling, proposed after only 9 months because he didnt like guys hitting on me and he thought that if I had a ring on my hand guys would leave me alone. It didnt work out because his family was extremely controling, abusive, and just overall mean to me. After a while I started to see what my life would really be like if I stayed with him. It was really really hard but I knew that if I didnt get out I would be miserable and live a life of physical and mental abuse.
2nd one: Guy I grew up with, was very close to his family but he was in the military and stationed in California. He proposed when he got back from 8 months in Afghanastan, while I was visiting him in Cali. The engagement only lasted 3 days because he was a totally different person and had been lying about a LOT of things. I felt deceived and betrayed.
Obviously I am now with my current Fiance and he’s amazing and I feel so thankful that it didnt work out with the other guys. Just so you know tho, I get a lot of crap from people for having been engaged before and its very hurtful. Ending both of the previous relationships was very hard. I never asked to be proposed to but what choice do you have once it happens if you dont want the relationship to end? Saying no would be a slap in the face and would basically ruin the relationship. But on the other hand I have had people try to be nice about it and just say that I must really be “wife” material. lol
Post # 4
@Misslc86: I can completely understand that it’s tough for you to see people getting engaged all around you, and you’re still waiting. We’ve all been there in that sucky waiting period, where it seemed everyone and their mother was getting engaged.
Just remember that your facebook friend has had to go through two breakups in the past four years, while I’m assuming you’ve been with your SO that entire time. Would you rather have your SO, or a ring on your finger? – Although I know you’d rather have both!
Post # 5
That’s just proof that a ring doesn’t fix relationship problems or make anything more stable. Be thankful you’re in a stable relationship and working on making it healthy so that it lasts a long time.
Post # 6
It could either be situations like @LLRininger‘s OR it could be that she’s crazy pressuring them to do it. And then the engagements don’t work out because they were formed under pressure rather than on their own terms.
Post # 7
An engagement does not a stable and loving relationship make.
Post # 8
I’m on my second engagement in 4 years. First guy was really nice UNTIL I had the ring; then he beat the crap out of me almost daily. And now my current Fiance is the best in all ways that matter to thingy our day will come and it will be the day youve been waiting for and dreaming of.
Post # 9
Ha, I know what you mean.
FIs ex has been engaged so many times on facebook. When she last changed her status, no one even commented about it because it was such a ‘non-event’. Needless to say, they broke up. She saw that Fiance and I had gotten engaged and she deleted him! Probably because our engagement is ‘real’.
Gutted for her.
Post # 10
I can see why you are upset b/c you are still waiting….just try not to compare your relationship to hers even though it can be hard not to do.
I have a friend that has been engaged 3 times. One time she cancelled her wedding a month before. The last time they were divorced within 6 months b/c he started cheating on her after the wedding. I remember her second engagement and the both of us were at a baby shower and she informed everyone she was gonna have a baby when she 27 and then another at 29…I told her not to plan out her life like that (b/c of my own infertility issues.) She is over 30 now and currently not dating anyone. She’s so embarrassed of her failed relationships that she refuses to talk to any of her old friends anymore….including me 🙁
Post # 11
thanks all–no worries, I would definitely much prefer my stable relationship to a series of short ones, and in no way do I intend to come off critical of her by any means, but as some of you know on the waiting board sometimes waiting can be very frustrating, especially when it seems like everyone around you is getting engaged (and they aren’t! It just FEELS that way!) and then seeing someone who said to you after her last proposal “don’t worry, you’re next!” Get engaged yet again before that even happens can get frustrating!
I also want to clarify I am definitely not knocking anyone with multiple engagements–ive got an ex fiancé myself! He was my high school sweetheart, and I said yes before the gravity of the commitment had set in and I realized that I was way not ready, and didn’t feel like he was the one who I was supposed to marry. I’d be a pretty big hypocrite to criticize her! Sometimes it is just easier to vent your frustrations to strangers and once I did, I felt much better and realized how silly being frustrated was. Here’s to hoping this time I get to actually attend a wedding for her 🙂
Post # 12
@Misslc86: I think we all have our shortcomings, but sometimes it’s nice to vent.