Post # 1
I logged on to an old social networking site (that I haven’t been on in ages) to look for ancient vacation pics and found a recent msg from an old college bf. It’s been 15 yrs since we’ve seen each other and we never kept in touch over the years except 4 yrs ago when I found him on Myspace because I was curious of what became of him. We exchanged a few brief msgs and that was it.
It’s not a big-deal, really, but why I’m writing this is because I asked him to join FB without thinking! I’m normally very much against being FB friends with ex’s and have outright refused to be friends with my long-time high school bf. My policy is: if we had anything serious, than no add. We weren’t serious at all, it was more like a summer fling/long dist relationship. BUT now I remember the rest of the story: at one point in time, this guy was who I considered my first “real” love! HA! How could I not remember that?
I’m happily married and we’re trying for our first baby. It’s like anything I had before was non-existent and meaningless in comparison! All good, right? Surely it’s no biggie if it isn’t a biggie for me … then I remember telling my hubby all about him and even reading the poems I made for this guy before DH and I got together! Ack! I know I’m an idiot!
But it was so long ago, do you think it’ll be OK? In my msg to him I went on about me being married and how we’re hoping to have a baby soon. We were also friends before so I was totally thrown off for a sec.
What do you think: bad idea or just add him cause it’s no biggie? Hubby wouldn’t mind, I know this, so it’s not an issue and it’s not like I’m not gonna tell DH about it – we’ll probably just laugh it off.
Post # 3
Unless he gives you any indication then he wants to catch up, then go ahead and add him. you could always block him from your feed…
Post # 4
I say it’s not a big deal, it was so long ago. The fact that you didn’t even remember the details goes to show it shouldn’t be something to stress about. DH and I are both fb friends with exes and it’s not a big deal. Now, if there were still feelings on either end, or it was a recent break-up or something I think that would be different. I wouldn’t worry. I’d add him. If it gets weird, just block or delete him as a friend!
Post # 5
WEll as a general rule I am not friends with any ex’s on FB and I don’t keep in touch on any level either. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.. and I dont’ want DH to ever worry about that stuff.
Post # 6
Nah–over a decade ago and just some summer love? No harm.
Post # 7
It doesn’t seem like too big of a deal. The main thing is where your intentions were. Based on your post, you didn’t seem to add him to get back in touch with him and rekindle the relationship. YOu seem to just want to see what he has been up to. You don’t have any bad intentions.
The biggest thing would be to be honest with your husband. If it makes your husband uncomfortable, you could always block him or unfriend him. But chances are, it isn’t a big deal to you so it probably won’t be to your hubby either!
Post # 8
I’m still facebook friends with my exes but I’m also facebook friends with people who I took one class with and who I’ve spoken to maybe once. Being facebook friends doesn’t mean you’re going to grab drinks after work or have lunch dates. In means that you’ll know that they really like How I Met Your Mother and Nickelback.
Post # 9
Im FB with all my exes because I was friends with them before Dh and I got together and just never removed them. I dont see anything wrong with it as long as youre not communicating through it.
Post # 10
We are FB friends with ex’s, even ones that the other may be a bit uncomfortable with. But from the beginning, we had an agreement. We would tell each other about the communication. It was a way to make sure nothing even *looked* suspicious. (Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been emailing? Because it’s no big deal. Etc) So friend him, but let you DH know what’s going on.