(Closed) FBIL causing me to lose sleep

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You poor soul. You could always change the locks?

In reality though, your FH needs to talk to him because this is not good behavior. Could you set a curfew? Like, if you aren’t home by 12, we are locking the doors and you can sleep outside type of deal?

Post # 5
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh boy…my Brother-In-Law did this to his roommate. The roommate came home one night completely wasted and was blasting the stereo. Brother-In-Law had to be up at 4 in the morning….he came down the stairs with a pair of scissors, cut the cord and went back up to sleep without saying a word. He just has no patience for that sort of thing. As you can imagine, the roommate did not stay there very long.

I think it is up to your Fiance to deal with his brother though….it would just be better coming from him. If you guys are kind enough to let him live with you, then he could at least respect boundaries…


Post # 6
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would flip my sh** seriously.  He needs to be respectful, it’s not a frat house.  You Fiance should deal with him though, you shoudl NOT be made out to be the “bad guy” here.

Why is he living with you both and not his parents?  Just curious. Does he have a job? Is he planning on getting one? Are you planning on charging him rent?

This really needs to be worked out, obviously.

In the meantime, I recommend earplugs. I use them every night, not only so I can deal with my FI’s snoring, but also outside street noise where I live, because once I wake up I have a very hard time falling back asleep.  I can’t live without them. I can still hear things, including my alarm clock, it just kind of makes everything seem further away.  Not sure if it will work with dogs barking though. These are the ones I use (I need to use the smaller lady sized ones because apparently I have dainty earlobes):




Post # 7
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I can relate. My Brother-In-Law lived with us on and off for about a year. He’s not a drinker, and he’s not that loud, so that part wasn’t bad. But I’d clean up the kitchen, then he’d come in and make himself food and leave a big mess. I’d wash towels and fold them and put them away, and a few days later I’d find them wadded up on his bathroom floor.

I remember one time I was beyond pissed because it was around 10, and I’d already gone to bed, and Brother-In-Law was headed out. Well, he must have been looking for something on the main floor (we have a tri level house) so he turned on EVERY SINGLE LIGHT on the both the main floor and the bottom floor, found what he was looking for, and then headed out, leaving the house still blazing with lights.

He bought his own food, but he never once bought toilet paper, laundry soap, bottled water, and believe me, he used plenty of all of those while living with us. I remember one time coming downstairs and there were no less than 20 half empty water bottles on the downstairs coffee table. I’d bitch and moan and my husband would make excuses for him.

He didn’t move out until I got pregnant and we needed all the extra room we could get. No real advice for you but I totally understand your frustration.

ETA- also his brother was like 25. Not a teenager. I couldn’t believe how inconsiderate another adult could be.

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