Post # 1
Does anyone else have FBIL’s or FSIL’s that don’t seem to have any interest in getting to know you? I have been with my Fiance for a year and a half and have felt completely welcomed by his family. Parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. We’re getting married in July.
However, his brother and his girlfriend haven’t bothered to try to get to know me at all. I have repeatedly tried to get to know them and made the first move and, without fail, they just don’t engage. I even had a conversation with FI’s brother about this! I said that it’s a shame that after a year and a half of living in the same town we don’t all know each other better. He agreed, yet nothing changes.
I am wondering how this is going to be after we’re married and have kids. I have a feeling nothing is going to change with them. That’s pretty sad. I am so close to my sister and she has a great relationship with my Fiance. So this is hard for me to understand.
Post # 3
Yep except I have no desire to know my SIL’s on either side. I don’t care for them nor do I want to really associate with them. I tolerate them if we have family functions and that is about it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Guys do not typically make the social calendar. You need to make friends with his girlfriend and invite them over through her. Otherwise, I wouldn’t take too much offense if the rest of the family has been welcoming.
Is your Fiance even close to his brother? If your Fiance isn’t close then it’s likely you won’t be close either.
Post # 5
I have two FSILs who have made it obvious that they want nothing to do with me. It doesn’t bother me a bit. Now my FH’s aunts, uncles, and cousins have been truly welcoming and loving. THAT I like. All that is required of relatives is politeness, not everybody has to like everybody else!
Post # 6
Some people (like me) just don’t feel that you have to be super close just because you are related. Are Fiance and his brother close? You may just not have a lot in common, I wouldn’t take it personally unless they are actually rude (which it doesn’t sound like, just not overly friendly). You don’t have to be best friends with everyone in your family.
Post # 7
I’m not close with my Future Brother-In-Law and his gf at all. I have tried to build a relationship but she seem rather uninterested, and she makes no effort, so why bother. Just because we are related doen’t mean we need to be best friends. We can be civil and all that, but i wont be texted or calling either.
Post # 8
As long as they aren’t disrespectful, let it be.
Post # 9
@magicmoments: +10 I am the same way.
@solidarity: I’m not a really lovey-dovey person. My Boyfriend or Best Friend has a WONDERFUL sister: she is hilarious and so much fun…and I STILL have a hard time getting myself to make the effort to bond with her. Everyone is different, he may just not be the kind of guy that is super warm and fuzzy.
Post # 10
@magicmoments: I’m the same way. I don’t expect my siblings to become BFF’s with my Fiance, and I don’t think that I will ever be super close with his brother either. I always assumed being nice, cordial and seeing them at family gaterings was enough. Then again, I don’t hang out with my own siblings outside of family gatherings, so I don’t expect my Fiance to hang out with them socially.
Post # 11
I have nothing in common with DH’s sister. She is fine- but why would I be close with her? His brother and I are much closer. All families are different. As long as there is not animosity- I don’t see the problem.
Post # 12
@Sassygrn: Mmm, yep. I love my FI’s younger siblings, but his older brother and SIL I could absolutely do without. His SIL is a selfish twat and I want to punch her in the face every time I see her because of the way she treats FI’s family (who are wonderful, loving people). And his brother allows this, just standing by and watching it happen. It’s disgusting.
Post # 13
I have no desire to know my sister in law. We live 1,200 miles away and she just doesn’t seem to care about anything about herself. I didn’t know her before my husband and I got into a serious relationship, but she’s given my husband and their entire family a lot of grief.
Even when we have children, I don’t forsee this woman being a huge part of our life.
Post # 14
Same with my husband’s sister. We’ve been together 7 years, and we see her on holidays and I made her a bridesmaid in my wedding in hopes that we’d get closer, but I decided at this point she’s just not interested, and that’s fine.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Boyfriend or Best Friend has two half sisters and he just isn’t super close to either of them, they’re lovely girls just completly different from him and each other.
So long as everyone is happy and (at least relatively) drama-free, I don’t really see why there would be an issue 🙂 Be grateful for your friendship with your sister ^^
Post # 16
My SIL that my brother married, is a witch. She turned my brother against his own daughter he had with in a different relationship. She turned him against my parents.
My DH’s brothers (he has two brothers) both are married and have been married for over 10 years each. I am the newbie so to speak. So the other 2 SIL’s are buddy buddy and me being the new kid on the block doesnt have a chance. Besides the one SIL/BIL who live not to far from us she likes to 1 up and wants to be dominate female. She doesn’t like the fact I say my piece and don’t take it.
So yeah I have no desire to be buddy buddy with these women.