(Closed) FBIL help

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Are you paying him to DJ or is he doing it for free?

If you are paying him, I’d demand that he meet with you and Fiance together, he needs to act like a professional even if he isn’t fond of you personally.

Post # 4
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Nola: I wanna make sure I understand this: your FBIL’s wife cheats on him, you tell your FH, FH tells Future Brother-In-Law, and Future Brother-In-Law is pissed because he was told his wife cheated on him? Did they work it out and are still together?  Was it untrue???  I’m a bit confused with your comment about apologizing to “them”.

I honestly think that your FH needs to talk to his brother about his behavior.  Or, call him out on it yourself.  Even if it means going over to his residence WITH your FH.

Other than that, talk to your FH about it and come up with a plan together.  

Post # 5
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Zinzerena: What ^she^ said.

Post # 6
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It kinda stinks that he will be the one in charge of really important memories…like the first dance and announcements. Someone that obviously doesn’t like you, I mean. Sorry you are having to be treated that way by him. Hope it gets better!

Post # 7
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@bakerella: wedding aside, it’s not acceptable behavior.

It needs to be addressed.  Even if he wasn’t dj’ing, should she deal with this kind of attitude and treatment???  Hence why I suggested having her FH talk to him or all of them talking about the behavior.  

Post # 8
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2011

And dito on what Ryna said  🙂

Post # 9
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

He doesn’t like you.  Why does it come as a surprise to you that he is ignoring you or treating you badly when you attempt to communicate with him?  Yeh, he sucks, but I don’t pity the fool who knows an outcome but continues to engage in the same behavior expecting a different result.

My advice: ditch the bro and get another DJ.  One who won’t likely embarrass you on your wedding day by calling you names on the mic.

Post # 10
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Future Brother-In-Law hates me too lol. Has Darling Husband sat him down and said straight up that the way he treats you is unacceptable? Why are you having him DJ your wedding if he is so aweful to you? I would worry about him having access to a mic…

I think that that you should just treat him kindly and are civil, thats all you can do at this pont. If he wants to act like a child, so be it.

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Zinzerena: I agree with you 100%. Your idea is better than mine.

Post # 12
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think there are some good ideas floating around, but I think the best I’ve heard thus far is to find another DJ. I know it’s an extra expense, but ultimately worth it.

Post # 13
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Zinzerena: I was totally agreeing with you! That was a ditto! Good advice!

Post # 13
Member
46414 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

He is likely acting this way with you because he is embarassed. You are privy to knowledge about his intimate marital relationship- his wife cheated on him. Many men feel “less of a man” when that happens.

He can deal with his brother because they are family and history.

I suggest that you meet with him privately. If he won’t meet with you, have your FI set up a meeting to discuss the music then you show up instead. The two of you need to clear the air.  Does he really expect that you would not talk with your Fiance about this?

Reassure him that you would never discuss this type of thing with anyone else and be clear that you expect him to treat you ina respectful manner in the future.

Post # 14
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@bakerella: eep!  sorry!!! I misunderstood what you meant!!!!  

Post # 15
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Zinzerena: LOL! Next time I’ll just write Ditto! LOL!

The topic ‘FBIL help’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors