(Closed) FBIL room-mate

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Tell Fiance that he has to give his brother an ultimatum- start looking for work or move out.

It can be hard to find jobs right now, but it’s MUCH harder when you’re sitting at home all day. And this needs to be a conversation that your Fiance has with his brother- it shouldn’t be your responsibility; he’s not your friend/family. Your Fiance should respect you enough to sit down and be honest with his brother.

If all else fails… I suppose you could always start having obnoxiously loud frequent sex. 😛 I know I sure wouldn’t wanna stick around lol.

Post # 5
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

That’s totally not cool on your FI’s part. :/

You’re gonna be his WIFE. You come first, even before his brother. It’s not too much to ask for him to have a man-to-man talk with his brother, especially when you’re being gracious enough to allow him to stay in your home.

This is a respect issue that you and your Fiance should definitely discuss.

Post # 7
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I don’t know your Fiance, but I know whenever I’m having an issue with mine, if I try to bring up something that’s been an issue in a way that’s accusatory or demanding, he immediately gets defensive and I may as well be talking to a brick wall.

What would work best on my Fiance is if I approached him with something like, “Hey, I know you don’t really want to have to tell your brother what to do- you’re not his mom- but it would really mean a lot to me if you’d talk to him about our current arrangement. I feel really uncomfortable with the way things are progressing and I feel like it’s affecting our relationship, and that’s really important to me. I love you and I don’t want something like this to cause resentment and come between us. Do you think you could set aside some time this week to approach him about the issue?”

Obviously you know your Fiance best and how he responds to things- I just tend to find that ‘please’ goes a LONG WAY. 😉 Hopefully your Fiance decides to take charge of the situation.

He needs to tell his brother that this is how HE feels too, and not just blame it on you if/when they do have a talk. Otherwise that totally undermines you and makes you look like the ‘bad guy.’ Fiance needs to appear like he supports you 100%. Otherwise nothing will change- Future Brother-In-Law has already made it pretty clear that he doesn’t really care what your opinions on the matter are.

Post # 9
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

No problem. 🙂 I just hope you and your Fiance work it out.

Post # 11
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

No advice, just hope it works out! I would be livid!

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