Post # 1
After much discussion Fiance and I decided to have a destination wedding in Mexico! Yay!
We’re paying for everything ourselves, including the travel for a few very important guests who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford it.
Today, FI’s older brother said that he’s trying to plan a fun vacation in Mexico around our wedding, which is fine. We figured since most people are coming for a week, everyone would like to plan their own little excursions as well as a couple of family organized events.
But he also said that he’s decided to plan the trip with 2 of his best friends and he wants us to invite them to our wedding so “they’re not left out on the trip!” What???????
I’ve never met these two guys (or their wives) and Fiance is vaguely familiar with one (childhood friend of his brother). Am I wrong for thinking this was super rude? Fiance already said yes because he’s always giving in to his family’s crap. So now we have to pay for 4 extra people ($125 per head) that we don’t even know that well, and to be honest I’m a little pissed. First because I think it was totally out of bounds for his brother to ask (who does that?) and second because I don’t want strangers at my wedding or the events we’ve organized!
I know I’m overreacting in some ways and I can’t uninvite them now, but I needed to vent. Erg!!!
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Ummm, no. They are more than welcome to fly down and party with Future Brother-In-Law but I’m not paying for two random guys to attend my wedding. They can find something else to do for the day of the wedding; I’m sure they won’t have a problem figuring out which bar or excursion to try. Be prepared for your Future Brother-In-Law to dip out early from the wedding (or be a big d*ck and refuse to attend.) I would tell him tough cookies and deal with it; it’s not your responsibility to entertain strangers at your wedding.
Whoa! Your FH said yes without consulting you? And he always caves to his family’s demands. Ick! Time to have a serious we’re about to a married couple talk. He needs to consult you about these things. I was guilty of committing my FH and I to social events without talking to him first and he was understandably upset. We discussed it and now I make sure to run everything by him first (he usually agrees, he just wants fair warning of any Mother-In-Law visits.)
Since he already agreed it would be difficult to uninvite them. So vent away!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
I don’t think you’re overreacting, that is mega-rude. You’ve never met them, your Future Brother-In-Law will have people there that he knows and is familiar with so he won’t need a friend to keep him company, and he’s not contributing to the wedding – there is no reason at all he’d need them there, even if you were feeling generous.
Why can’t these two adult, married couples spend a day on their own entertaining themselves?
Post # 5
Thank you! Fiance thinks I’m being unreasonable. I just don’t get it. He called me a hypocrite because my father is inviting a few co-workers, but my dad is paying for them, and I would bet I have had more interactions with these co workers than Fiance has had with these 2 guys and their wives.
Maybe I am being a hypocrite but….I don’t know. I’m going to suck it up and invite them because Future Brother-In-Law has ALREADY told them about it, and I don’t want to be a jerk. I’m just really turned off by the fact that he would even ask that of us! Just wanted to see what others thought.
Rant rant rant. Thank god it’s friday!
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Maybe you’ll get lucky and they won’t actually purchase plane tickets or book the hotel.
And yes, the difference between FBIL’s friends and your dad’s coworkers is that your dad is paying for his additional guests. If the Future Brother-In-Law (or his guests) had any class he would also offer to pay for his additional guests.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Disney
Tell him when he plans his own wedding he can invite his friends.
Post # 8
No. You tell him no. If they managed to sleep in different rooms at night, his best friends will make it without your Future Brother-In-Law for a few hours. I bet their wives would’ve kicked them in the damn shin if they tried to bring strangers to their own weddings.It’s a wedding not a darn barbecue. I’d especially be annoyed because I think most people choose Destination Wedding because they want a fun but completely initimate, close family/friend wedding. Also as the friend I would be mortified to show up to your wedding knowing I wasn’t invited. God how awkward :/
P.S you guys are rockstars for paying some people’s travel. That is so generous and sweet of you.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t allow it. It’s not rude to not invite them. They can do something else without your Future Brother-In-Law for ONE DAY of the trip for gosh sakes!
Post # 10
Nope, sorry, random peole I dont even know dont get to go to wedding just cause they happen to be in the area for their own vacation. I’d be pissed too.
Post # 11
Does the brother know how much it’ll cost? A lot of times people have no idea.
Post # 12
fair’s fair.. your dad has the option to pay for a few extra guests, so so does your fbil. if he doesn’t want to pay for them, they don’t get to come. seriously, i’m sure two couples can find something to do for one or two nights (including rehearsal dinner). if it was *one* extra friend, i’d maybe say just cover it, but for 2+, no way.
since this just happened today, i’d just call him back and say you guys re-looked at your budget, and can’t swing it. he/they’re welcome to pay, but otherwise, you’ll enjoy seeing them before and after the wedding.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
Im shocked you think you’re overreacting. Girlfriends, you’re UNDERREACTING. Heck no these strangers cant come to your wedding. There’s 4 of them Im sure they wont get lonely. Thats a total of $500 to have strangers at your DW??
Un-do this! Undo it today!! Become the bridezilla we all have in us!!
Post # 15
That is beyond rude of your FBIL!!!!! He can take friends with him to Mexico but not to your wedding!!
Post # 16
@MrsCreeToBe: Your Future Brother-In-Law does not have the power nor the right to invite ANYONE to your wedding. Only you and your Fiance do.
That being said, you need to call Future Brother-In-Law and say that he needs to provide the $500 for them to attend the wedding, as your Father did for his coworkers, or they will NOT be allowed into the wedding.
Stand.Your.Ground. If your Fiance gets upset, tell him that HE can provide the money hahhaa