(Closed) FBIL wants to propose to GF at Christmas

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 47
Member
2177 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband proposed to me at my parents house on Christmas day, around 3pm.  He did not consult anyone prior to doing so.  

Judging by your most recent post, I’d say it is a problem for you, and you do care, contrary to your original statement.  I really wouldn’t worry about it if I were you– how would him asking prohibit anyone from helping you in the kitchen?  If you are uncomfortable, say so.  Tell him you’re thrilled but would prefer he wait until after dinner so everyone can help you.  He seems open to your advice since he asked in the first place…

Bottom line, this is awesome.  A family holiday made even sweeter by the fact that it’s your first to host, and their first as an engaged couple.  You can both share the spotlight.

Post # 48
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  Is it just your Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law coming over for Christmas or are there a bunch of in laws coming? Given your update, it seems he has a large audience but none of which are his immediate family. In that case, yes I would find it weird, but if that’s what he wants to do oh well.

If he called and asked your permission, I would be honest, BUT I’d make your Fiance tell his own brother and not put that back on you.

Post # 49
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  You said your family will be there and doesn’t really know them, so I’m sure there will be some people available to help you in the kitchen. You can also ask your Future Brother-In-Law when he plans to propose and plan around that. I don’t mean the other way around – I wouldn’t dictate to him when to propose. I am guessing that you are very obsessed with everything going perfectly and a bit OCD about the dinner plans. I can understand that – it reminds me of a relative of mine. You need to let this go. Like another poster said, nothing will be ruined unless you let it be ruined.

Post # 51
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  You mentioned your mom and sister will be there, I doubt they will be fawning all over them and a simple congratulations will do. Assuming, since they are on your Husband’s side of the family. You will still have help. Stop worrying and overthinking everything.

Post # 52
Member
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  I get your concern about needing help. If it’s a major concern ask him to do it after dinner. That’s when he was likely planning to do it anyway. Who would propose during the hustle and bustle at the beginning of a gathering? My family is so chaotic upon arrival that no one would think of it.

Post # 53
Member
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If he proposes that morning before coming to your house, then it will still be discussed and people asking to see her ring and what not while they are at your house. What is the difference? That completely negates your argument of wanting to keep it “just about Christmas”.  Also, like a PP said, you KNOW that it will probably happen during present opening time. worrying about not having all hands on deck right when they get there is ridiculous. Plus, typically when people HOST they allow their guests to mingle and relax. 

 

Just because you are hosting Christmas doesn’t mean you OWN Christmas, and you can’t decide what people choose to do to make the holiday special for themselves. Stop being selfish. 

 

Post # 54
Member
7590 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry but I think you’re being a bit selfish. I think a proposal is way more important than the food being on time. I think people will understand if the food is served a little late. I think you just don’t want to share the “spot light.”

Post # 55
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  Sorry, every update you give just makes you sound worse. I don’t think I will have anything else constructive to add. good luck.

Post # 56
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  I find it weird that he is doing it in front of your family and just a portion of his. Are they not going to celebrate with his girlfriends family during the holidays? If I wanted a proposal in from of family I would prefer for it to be my family not mostly someone elses. I know the holidays are stressful especially in the kitchen so I get why its probably not the best idea until later in the evening, nothing in the kitchen is ever timed perfectly for cooking and prep.

Post # 57
Member
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  Totally joking with you here, but even if everything you’re stressed over comes true a proposal would totally save the day and no one would remember anything bad! 😛

I get stressing about the food and stuff, but it will come together and a proposal would just be icing on a beautiful Christmas at flapperphilosopher’s house.

Post # 58
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can’t help but agree with the pp’s. You REALLY need to get your priorities straight. It doesn’t matter if he does before or after the food. I can’t even believe you’re worrying about it! He can just say “Hey, can everyone gather around for just a minute.” Propose. And then it’s done! You congratulate them and go back to prep or hostessing. 

This engagement has nothing to do with you or your party. It could be a dream of both of theirs to do it in front of family. 

This isn’t even something you need to worry about. Just let it happen. Stop stressing. Your party will be fine regardless. 

Post # 60
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@flapperphilosopher  Just to add to my post, it sounds like most of your family will be there, and I would think they would help you, especially since they don’t know Future Brother-In-Law, so they will probably say congrats and move on. it seems it will just mostly be Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law that will have their time occupied.

The topic ‘FBIL wants to propose to GF at Christmas’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors