- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Hey, bees. I was just curious how you all went about choosing your best man. Here’s our situation.
Fiance believes that the best man should be someone who knows the bride and groom equally well. He thinks that a best man who knows both the bride and groom is better qualified to make a speech and stand up with us on our wedding day. He has a friend, G, in mind for best man. G was originally FI’s friend but we have all hung out together a lot and I feel that G definitely fits FI’s description of a best man. He has spent plenty of time around us as a couple and can truly speak to the loving relationship we have.
Now, FI’s brother is getting married this year, and he asked Fiance to be his best man. We are getting married next year. Fiance and his brother were on the phone the other night and his brother asked if he’d thought of who his best man would be yet. Fiance mentioned this friend and his brother got very upset with him. He thought it was rude to choose a friend over a brother, and he was insulted that he had asked Fiance to be his best man and Fiance hadn’t returned the favor. He even insinuated that if Fiance chose G as his best man, he would demote Fiance from best man to groomsman in his own wedding. He also said that if he can’t be best man at our wedding, he will just come as a guest.
We hardly ever see FI’s brother, and though he is always nice to me and definitely supports our relationship, I do agree with Fiance that G would make the better best man. But I also don’t think it’s a good idea for Fiance to choose G if it’s going to cause a rift between himself and his brother. Bees, how would you handle this situation?