(Closed) FBIL’s back and there’s gonna be trouble.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sounds like for your mental health it would be a better plan to scale down the wedding plans so that you can afford to move out now, because you’re right…I am going to say that since it’s not your house there isn’t really anything you can do

Post # 5
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@Wonderstruck: I agree.

Sorry…I know that you said you didn’t want to hear people say that it isn’t your house and you should move out, but if it bothers you that much, you need to get your own place and scale back or postpone the wedding until you can afford it.

Post # 6
1543 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t really have any advice to offer, but I can comiserate to a point. My stepbrother sounds like your FBIL’s long lost twin, except the child part. Worthless, pothead, always in and out of trouble, with a set of annoyed yet enabling parents.  ((Hugs)) and good luck!

Post # 7
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Pinksapphire: “They can’t tell him no because he is their son, but they don’t like it because he is really whiny and demanding.”

BS!  They can tell him “no” and absolutely should be telling them “no”.  Why does your Future Brother-In-Law ever have any incentive to behave differently if he knows that your ILs will always bail him out, give him money, let him move home, let him freeload, etc?  He’s whiny and demanding because they’ve allowed him to get away with it and he’s learned that it works.

Basically, I think that your ILs need to grow a pair and stand up for themselves.  They are letting their grown child control them.

That said, there isn’t a whole lot that you and your Fiance can do about it beyond move out or lock yourselves in your room all day (I understand – neither of those are really good options).  Sorry you have to deal with such an ass.

Post # 8
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You really only have 2 options:

-Stay there and put up with him (manintaing your private space in your room)

-Move out

His parents always have the choice to tell him to grow up, move out and take responsibility for himself, but they have obviously chosen not to do that and it’s not your place to do so.

Post # 9
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

If his parents really don’t like it, then they need to tell him to leave, or at the very least, STOP giving him money. maybe if he went to jail for a while, he would stop acting this way

Post # 10
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

“I was invited to live here, and fully welcomed.  I contribute to the household, as well as Fiance.  Fiance and I are trying to save up to get our own place AND have our wedding.  So, we are really benefitting from living with the Future In-Laws.”

I realize all of this! but if the current household situations ( which extends beyond Future Brother-In-Law based on some of your previous posts) are putting a “damper” on your relationship with Fiance, it may be getting a little too far on the bad side. The whole purpose is to save for a wedding, but you may never get to a happy wedding because everyone will want to strangle each other or say things they don’t mean that will be eternally damaging!

Just putting that out there, I myself to save money and If i was welcome, would probably stay and put up with everything. So I understand where you are coming from! i live with my in-laws and my Future Sister-In-Law got in a fight with her husband and moved into our living room and spare bedroom for 4 months with 3 kids. It was the worse time of my life. Just keep telling yourself its only temporary!

Post # 11
3142 posts
Sugar bee


+1 and his parent are enablers.  That won’t stop any time soon. You’re fighting a losing battle.


Post # 14
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011


“The fact that’s he’s white escapes him.” I think that is insulting to many people. Move out. Problem solved.

Post # 16
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

That is rediculous.  Ok, they dont want him to go to jail, so they pay for the child support.  I can sort of understand not wanting to see your own child go to jail.  But buying him cigs and pot!??  screw that!  Why are they enabling him???  They “should”, and I use the word should lightly, be providing him barely enough to not be in jail or on the streets and absolutely no more.  And tiptoeing around him cause he wants to sleep on the couch till noon.  To hell with that too, I would be in the kitchen cooking up the biggest loudest storm I could just to piss him off if I were his mom! 

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