- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
Fiance has one brother, who has been dating a girl for about a year now. This girl’s sister got married last year, and she has been convinced Future Brother-In-Law will propose to her at any time for a while now (she thought it could happen back in like Sept/Oct and they just now had their one year anniversary). I haven’t seen her often (just family events and her and Future Brother-In-Law came over once), but she’s been big on the wedding talk. (Edit: not that it necessarily matters, but according to Fiance, Future Brother-In-Law is nowhere near planning a proposal, so the lack of communication between them is odd.)
I don’t have a huge problem with her, but she can be kind of immature, and (she doesn’t know I know this) she went to Future Mother-In-Law before I got engaged and told her that I was “expecting a ring” and that I knew exactly when I would get engaged and all that… because I made some small talk with her once about how now-FI had discussed getting engaged sometime in the future. It got nasty with Future Mother-In-Law because she hadn’t been told anything by Fiance yet (because it was just discussion – there was no ring, no definite deadline, nothing). It made me upset that this girl caused an issue with Future Mother-In-Law and made me out to be demanding or greedy regarding an engagement. I never imagined any casual thing I said about it would be used against me.
The last time I saw her was for Christmas. I got engaged in January. I haven’t heard a word from her (no congrats or anything).
The reason why this is weird is because I keep hearing from various people/FI’s relatives that she has been talking a lot about my wedding, helping me get ready, offering to arrange my flowers, even offering to do my hair and makeup that day. She has supposedly even brought up organizing my bachelorette?
And yet, she has not made ANY attempt to be friends. Like at all. She has never contacted me outside of making small talk at family functions. I hardly know this girl.
It feels like she wants to be a BFF or a bridesmaid or something, but without the actual “becoming friends first” part. Fiance thinks she’s making all these offers to make herself look good to the family? But I don’t know. I just don’t get it at all.
It’s been made clear to me that I am expected by all these relatives to include this girl in my wedding events, invite her to the bachelorette (which she wants to plan? Um, I have two MOHs who can do that?), and let her get ready with me the morning of. And I’m not trying to be mean, but I feel a tad uncomfortable with letting a near stranger be so intimately involved when she’s made no attempt to even get to know me, much less be friends.
Not really sure if I’m looking for advice or just thoughts or opinions… what is this girl doing? Why hasn’t she said anything to me or tried to be friends? I don’t even know how to approach this subject with her because we literally have never texted, Facebook, nothing. I don’t even have her number.
I would maybe get it if she was just excited or a big planner and if she was talking to ME about it. But not a peep.
Edit: I forgot to add that she has been telling people she looked at my wedding board on Pinterest and can do the hairstyles and flowers and stuff I pinned. And that weirds me out because I don’t know how she found my Pinterest without digging. My Maid/Matron of Honor had to specifically ask me for the link because she couldn’t find it.