(Closed) FBIL's wedding and our honeymoon – potential conflict

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: What would you do?

    Change honeymoon month

    Have FI talk to his brother about his DW month

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 78
    Member
    2836 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @flapperphilosopher:  I also think it’s funny that they are choosing a date when technically- they don’t even know if they have a venue…..isn’t it hard to get excited about a date when you don’t even know if there’s a place to do it?

    Post # 79
    Member
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    OMG… I would be super mad at my brother if he did that!

    I know what other bees have said, but, to me, you chose first, so he should think about another time…

    BUT, I understand that you don’t want to create a conflict, so, if that helps you deciding, I will tell you that April is a pretty cold and rainy time to visit Paris. I would choose May or early June better.

    Post # 80
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    View original reply
    @flapperphilosopher:  I remember your last post and your Future Brother-In-Law seems to just be a thoughtless jerk who doesn’t think about other people (no offense).  I was going to try to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe his future wife had her heart set on April for some reason (I know I knew what season I wanted to get married in before I got engaged), but if it is seriously so he can get married on his brother’s birthday, that’s pretty stupid.  You are already bending over backwards for this guy (who is pretty much ruining your Christmas)- I would be pretty annoyed!!  If they ask about a date during Christmas dinner, what if your Fiance just says, “April2015?  You know that Fiance and I are going on out honeymoon in Paris in April 2015, I already told you that” (or maybe something a little nicer sounding)- that puts it back on your Future Brother-In-Law and then everyone knows it’s a conflict for you (her parents would probably assume its booked and consider it off-limits for a date). On the bright side, Hawaii and Paris are pretty amazing places!! Yay for that!

    Post # 82
    Member
    114 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2000

    slightly off topic, regardless of any decision–do not go to Paris in August. The French all take August as holidays and services decrease ++

    Post # 83
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    All I’m hearing is how Future Brother-In-Law is choosing to get married in that month, what about the bride?  I’m sure she’s got some say in it.

    If I was getting married to a guy and we both decided April worked best for US – I would be really pissed if we couldn’t do that date because his brother booked a delayed honeymoon on the same month.  I’ll move a wedding date for a siblings wedding but I’m not moving it for a delayed honeymoon,

     

    Post # 85
    Member
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would wait until after he proposes to decide anything.  She might have a different time of year in mind and your Future Brother-In-Law could be just talking out of his ass.

    Post # 86
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    While you cannot force someone to change their wedding date based on your schedule this may all be a moot point. How about Future Brother-In-Law propose to his Girlfriend first and ask her when she wants to get married. She may want a fall wedding at a local church so all of this stress and confusion may be null and void.

    Post # 87
    Member
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Nobody is walking all over you. You are making decisions that are best for you. If Future Brother-In-Law and his soon to be fiance decide to get married in April, that is their decision. The decision to go to Paris or to their wedding is your decision (with your fiance). There are pros and cons to each situation and it kind of sucks having to make a tough deicision, but it’s your decision. Certainly, if Future Brother-In-Law asks, I’d let him know that you were planning the honeymoon in April (because I’d bet really good money he doesn’t remember that, even if he was around while it was being discussed) but if he doesn’t ask then he shouldn’t be mad if you can’t come. You can’t control him, his decisions or his reactions. You can control you, your decisions and your reactions.

    Post # 88
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    View original reply
    @flapperphilosopher:  I’d check and see but again – why is it all on the brother?  What about his wife – maybe that works best for her immediate family too and it’s what she/they want.  They can’t please everyone.  

    Their wedding, their decision and it does suck it doesn’t work very well for you but just as they aren’t obligated to make sure it’s in your best interest you shouldn’t be obligated to come.  Now if they pick April and make demands that you must go – that’s not ok.

    Post # 89
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    View original reply
    @flapperphilosopher:  just saw your update- you go girl!! Your Future Brother-In-Law is a selfish jerk and taking advantage of you. I fully support your decision to not let people walk all over you! I think a lot of bees don’t know the full back story, so you may want to take their comments with a grain of salt. 

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