Post # 1
We talk a lot about relationships with (F)MIL/FIL but I was wondering about the hive’s relationships with brother and sister in laws.
I’m an only child and it was weird for me when hubby and I got married and suddenly I gained two brothers. I’ve actually only met them once, as they are in England and we are here in Tokyo. We met at Christmas last year. I was suuuuuuuper nervous but everything was, well, cordial. It was a little too formal. I tried to ask lots of questions about each of them and joke around a little but I left our England trip feeling like I didn’t really connect with my BILs. I think a lot of it has to do with my hubby’s relationship with them. With the older one, recently, hubby got off the phone with him and said “AWKWARD!” They don’t have the most buddy-buddy of relationships and I think hubby will always feel awkward around his super serious brother. So I feel awkward too! With the other one, we stayed at his house for a few days and I got to know him better but it was almost like meeting someone’s friend at a party. The focus of that trip was really meeting hubby’s nephew (BIL’s son) because he had never met him before (he was born 2 years ago, while we were/are in Japan).
Family is important to me and while I feel I really worked at establishing a great relationship with my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law I still feel like I need to grow with my BILs. I am a little worried that they don’t like me because I’m taking hubby away from his whole family in England to move to America. I’m sure this isn’t the case but right now I don’t feel like I’ll ever be at the point where I can talk to them about it. Anyway, I want them to feel confident that I’m taking care of their little bro and that he’s living in crazy American marital bliss with a totally cool chick (me!)
I’m curious about everyone’s relationship with their partner’s brothers and sisters. What kind of a relationship do you have with them?
Post # 3
Family is very important to me! I’ve been very fortunate to have a wonderful family. We were the type that always had dinner together and go on vacations every summer.
This is my first SO where I have never met any of the family members, not even his mom. We have been together for over 4 years now and it always made me so sad. At first I thought it was because he was embarrassed by me or thought his family would reject me (since I’m asian and he is caucasion). But that wasn’t the case, just that his family, except his brother, are just some of the meanest people you would ever meet. It took me a few years to except that I would never be close to his mom or his sister…but it was a comparmise I was willing to make. At least I will be able to meet his brother soon, since that is the only family he is close with.
Post # 4
My SIL and I don’t have a really close relationship. She just started college and my husband and I are working professionals (or trying to be anyway). I get along really well with his parents which sometimes puts me in between them and my SIL since they complain about what she does like normal parents. I try to stay out of it and have little bonding moments with her (though we haven’t had much of a chance lately since we moved).
Post # 5
My fiance’s brothers adore me, and i adore them. we have a good relationship and clicked right from the beginning. i think i got lucky
Post # 6
Mine is great! I’ve known my fiance’s brothers since high school & my Future Sister-In-Law (his SIL) is my best friend since 6th grade. She actually introduced us, so needless to say, I was close with her & her husband before my fiance started dating. We actually joke that I knew his family really well before him. Very weird but really awesome!
Post # 7
My fiance’s little brother is 17 and I’m 22 so we’re very goofy and we fight, wrestle, chase each other around the house…all that good stuff. I’m lucky I guess. He even gets on my nerves like a biological younger brother!
Post # 8
Nonexistent. My partner has a half-brother but they aren’t close (he’s in high school, we’re in our mid-twenties), so I don’t feel like I need/should be close to his half-brother.
I am very close to my family, though, and my partner gets along very well with my siblings, which is nice.
Post # 9
I get along very well with my Futures. They are all quite a bit older than us, so it’s sometimes like talking with my parents, but I like that because I connect better with older people than those my age. There’s only one Future Sister-In-Law that I don’t get along with, but that’s because nobody really gets along with her in the family.
Post # 10
My Fiance is the youngest of 6 (he’s 34/I’m 33)…his sibs are a lot older and though they are all very nice and we get a long, I kind of feel like I’m hanging out with my older aunts and uncles…It almost feels like they are from another generation…sometimes its a little awkward because we are still getting to know each other, but I’m working on it and I think eventually we will all be easy with each other…at least I hope we will…
Post # 11
Me and Fi both have 2 brothers. We are both middle children, and I think Fiance is closer to my brothers than I am to his, and I also think that Fiance is closer to my brothers than he is to his. I don’t have a problem with Fi’s older brother Tom. He is kinda quiet, gives off an unapproachable vibe and keeps to himself for the most part, but he isn’t mean, and when you talk to him he is nice. I think he keeps to himself because he is an electircal engineer and is really into talking about electricity and stuff, and when he talks to you about it you have no idea what he is talking about unless you know about electricity, so it hard to have a conversation with him sometimes, but he’s nice. I have a bigger problem with Fi’s younger brother Joe, who just started college. I do not ever talk to him, even when Fiance is around and everyone is around talking like during holidays and stuff. He has gotten into some trouble with drugs, and while I understand that everyone makes mistakes, I feel like he is not even trying to do better. FI’s parents have paid for Joe to take AARD classes, and paid for a laywer and everthing for him so he would not go to jail, and I feel like he takes it all for granted, because he told someone Fiance knows that he is probably gonna just keep doing the stuff he is doing. Also I have a little grudge against him because Fiance told their parents about Joe’s problem and Joe totally freaked on Fiance about it and called him a b*tch and everything when FI’s parents confronted Joe about it (Which also makes me mad at FI’s parents a little because I don’t think FI’s parents should of told Joe that they found out from his brother) but Fiance was worried and wanted to get him help. and Joe freaked out and was like “Your getting mad at me when he is probably fucking that girl.” and it was so weird because I was there and could hear everything, and I was just fumming mad. I wanted to say “Having sex is not illegal! What you are doing can make you go to jail!” but I didn’t. It’s so akward because when he is around and we visit FI’s parents and if he bumps into me or something or gets in my way or something on accident he will be like “my bad.” and I’m serious thats all he ever says to me “my bad.” “sorry.” or “excuse me.” that’s it.
Fiance use to be close friends with my older brother, and while they are not as close as they use to be they get along and talk and laugh and stuff when they talk to eachother and actually have conversation. Fiance hangs out with my 17 year old younger brother and plays video games with him and stuff and invites him over to chill sometimes with us, which I think is nice of Fiance. I think my brother kinda reminds him of his brother. I mean my brother does not do drugs (that I know of, and I hope to God he isn’t.) but Joe and my brother are both into the “skateboard guy” look, and I think Fiance does not want the same to happen to my brother that happened to his so he tries to do things with my brother so my brother does not get into that scene. So I mean overall it’s okay. I mean we all get along. We don’t start stuff with eachother, but me and Fiance are just not real close to his brothers.
Post # 12
i come from a larger family, ie 2 brothers, 3 sisters, and my cousins and i are VERY close.
his family is very tight knit, but only the immediate family.
i like everyone, and they like me, but after 2 years i’m still not completely comfortable with his dad or sister, as they’re both sorta socially awkward people. however i LOVE his mom and i LOVE his brother.
it kinda sucks though cause my family is super out there, and he gets along with them almost more than i do, so i feel bad that i don’t really click with his family.
Post # 13
I got get along with the FIL’s. They all hate me and like to create uneeded drama for the fiance and I. My family on the other hand love him to death and support us as much as they can. His family likes to email him and say what a horrible person i am and how he can do so much better and this has been going on for 4 years. I thought by now they would have came around but they are still the same. For those who have a good relationship with your in laws i am envious of you lol
Post # 14
I get along well with my fiance’s brother, he’s a great guy. Weirdly, my younger sister and him are really close friends. We introduced them this year as they go to the same university, and they hit it off and hang out all the time (but definitely NON-ROMANTICALLY. Unfortunately. It would be fun to double date with them). He also has a half sister that is 7, and two step-sisters, and we all get along great as well. I really lucked out in the sibling department. It’s the parent-in-law department that is kind of shifty!
Post # 15
Ohhhh, I should mention though that when we got married (at the city office, just the two of us) both BILs were very good about being welcoming and sweet via the internet and a card.
Sounds like everyone’s relationships are varied but it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one with a less-than-ideal situation!
Post # 16
basically non-existant. Future Brother-In-Law has chosen to ignore the family and concentrate on his psycho gf instead of being there for his parents going through a rough time. prior to all of this happening I didn’t see him much, had an ok relationship with him, but now is a different story. He’s not quite living up to his best man duties, either.
It kind of bothers me that he can just brush his brother and I off since we’ve been dating forever.
we see my sister quite often and Fiance gets along great with her and her husband.