Fear mongering when growing up?

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
10542 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

He just sounds like a shitty parent.

Post # 3
Member
813 posts
Busy bee

I grew up in a household with parents I was terrified of. Everything was exaggerated….we were always in disaster mode. I was TERRIFIED of my parents. They instilled such fear, such anger…such DREAD in us. I wish I had an answer as to why they did that, but I don’t. I’m sorry and I wish you the best.

Post # 4
Member
5047 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think “asshole” is an actual parenting method…it’s just being an asshole.

Post # 5
Member
3901 posts
Honey bee

So he was an emotionally abusive asshole?

Post # 6
Member
798 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry you were subjected to that crap. I think 99% of that behavior is people projecting their own unresolved issues onto their children. And they REEK of self-hate. It’s good you realize how toxic this is and I hope you know it is NOT normal and NOT ok. I grew up with toxic parents and it took a good long while to realize that decent parents don’t act like controlling assholes. Parenting does not equal bullying. 

Post # 8
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
overthemoon2018 :  Wait what?  Are we talking a golden child/scapegoat situation?

Post # 9
Member
5517 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

Sounds like he just didn’t know any better. 

Post # 10
Member
798 posts
Busy bee

Don’t give this man any more of your headspace. Your dark moments are part of your own beautiful story. You can and will thrive in spite of a POS parent. Hugs.  

View original reply
overthemoon2018 :  

Post # 11
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Some therapy might help a lot to turn loose of all that fear and low self-esteem he planted in your head.

Post # 12
Member
818 posts
Busy bee

Parents often don’t realize the harm they unintentionally inflict on their children when they don’t deal with their own issues. It’s sad they often are unaware of what their issues even are. My parents were similar in that way. The difference between me and them is I work on my issues and they mostly still ignore theirs. Therapy can be helpful in processing it.

Post # 14
Member
8989 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Wow – he sounds like a really shitty parent. Have you thought about therapy? Might be good to talk through your feelings. 

Post # 15
Member
818 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
overthemoon2018 :  Many parents just seem to parent how they themselves were parented sadly. With myself as I got older I could see the things my parents said or did over the years that wasn’t ok and I decided to work on my own stuff to better myself and not pass my issues onto my future kids.

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