(Closed) Fear of death

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@carly20:  I don’t know that I fear death exactly, but I really don’t want to die.  Mine is more of a fear of what would happen to my husband and two small daughters.  It makes me nervous and sad to think about them without me.  I have found several ways to lessen these feeling.

1.  I take care of myself.  I have to keep my husband’s wife and my daughters’ mommy healthy.  This is not to say that I won’t get sick and die, but there is more than enough evidence out there that shows that there are lifestyle choices that dramatically reduce the chances of cancer and other disease.

2.  I tell my family how much I love them.  I know that sounds strange, but I know that if I died today, my husband and girls know that I adored them.

3.  I teach my girls about character and integrity.  If I died, I would do it knowing that I did all I could to raise honest and self confident girls.

Doing all that I can helps a lot.

Post # 4
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

YES!  I actually wrote about this on the Hive a few months back.  For me, some days are better than others.  Are you seeing a psychologist?  They can teach you different ways to deal that are unique to your needs.  Here’s some of the things I do when I am overwhelmed with death-related thoughts and fear:

-I tell myself, “STOP.”  Sometimes I shout it outloud.  You have to tell yourself to stop your throught process.  I have also paired this with wearing a rubber band or stretchy bracelet on my wrist.  I can snap the rubber band on my wrist when my thoughts become dark, and it gives me a physical and litteral snap-back.

-I immediately start thinking of something I enjoy (come up with a list of things you can go to on the spot, the more specific, the better. EX: “My dad’s laugh when he sees his favorite commercial on TV” instead of “my family”)

Make sure you exercise and eat right.  This will keep your body in check and promote natural endorphins.  Get sunlight everyday, as this helps with mood as well.

It sounds cheesy, but use your fear in a good way.  You are here.  You are surrounded by people who love and care for you.  The love these people have never fades away, even when they are physically taken from this earth.  This world is great, there is so much beauty.  Use your fear to explore everything there is to offer.

Post # 5
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I experience this as well and have yet to figure out a way to overcome it, as sometimes it comes out of no where. Sometimes I can watch a hororor movie, or any show and can encounter a death, or see a funeral and the thought doesn’t cross my mind. Other times I will be driving and at a stop light the fear just comes out of nowhere, and it is very difficult to put into wors what exactly the fear is. 

For me, it’s not the fear of how I’ll die, or dying itself, just death in general. My overwhelming fear is the fear of no longer being alive. So often my thoughts trail to the fact that I’m building this life, I’m going to work everyday, getting married, and one day it will just be gone. Today I exist, someday I will not (this is the thought that really makes me panic). I find it utterly terrifying. I unfortunately remember the exact moment this initial fear struck me and I wish so badly to somehow be hypnotized to never have these thoughts cross my mind! 

My only recourse is to try to change my thoughts as quickly as possible. Sometimes it takes longer than others. I focus on anything. I play with my dogs, or I notice flowers. Something or anything to take me away from the thoughts.

Post # 6
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

omg! I’ve been going through this bad funk lately regarding this = ( I know how you feel! I get so deep into thinking about this that I start crying.

I think I’m at such a happy place, great job, amazing relationship with my family, and a wonderful fiance, I’m scared things are so perfect I dont want to die or have someone close to me die.

I actually went to a Yoga class last week and it helped me A LOT. Something about the meditation and feeling of doing something for ME and good for my body. I swear it’s helped a lot.

Sorry your going through this, it really sucks = (

 

 

Post # 8
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have ongoing anxiety that I have been to therapy for and one of the things we talked about was my fear of dying. Honestly, I had to embrace it. It was tough, and I can’t nail down a specific thing to do to help you.

I read a book called the Anxiety Cure, which gives you great insight on how to deal with anxiety. I use tip from that book to help get my mind off of things. I also try to make sure I exercise each day so I’m tired enough to go to sleep.

It is a super sucky feeling, and I am sorry you have to go through it. Dying someday isn’t a scary thought for me because it’s gonna happen no matter what. it’s the thought of all the things I have left to accomplish (having kids, getting a house, a Saint Bernard, and watching my own daughter or son get married) that scares me to die. So I live day by day I look forward to my future instead of the end of my future.

 

Post # 9
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@carly20: i have been dealing with that for a long time now except it started the older ive become. I’m 39 years old and now i fear getting old and sick ; (

I’ve become a big hi per chondriac. alwats thinking something is wrong with me.

ive gotten to the point of just being sick of the way i feel. i want to live life not live in fear of what “could” happen. every day its a struggle for me. but im doing it day  by day.

my advice to you is deal with it day by day. everyday think of the beautiful place they are all waiting for us to join them.  iam so sorry your going thru this. people think this is funny.

its not its a real fear i wouldent wish it on anyone. blessings, love and light to you and yours.

try to relax God is good! 

Post # 10
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@megz06:  well said! my biggest fear is leaving my son. i fear that the most.

Post # 11
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Fear can be good, it is a survival instinct.

However, when a fear turns into a phobia, it can really have a toll on a person. The thought of a small closed in space, puts me into a panic and I will not watch any movies of people being buried or placed in crate. It would come to the point that I would contemplate killing myself then being in that situation.

As for death in general, I fear death enough to avoid things that can kill me (more for those I love then myself), but some things can not be avoided. For those things, we have to face the fact that with life, comes death. None of us live forever, so we can’t worry about it. It is something that can not be avoided. Sometimes death is good when someone has been suffering from an illness for a long time. We learn to accept that they are better off, they have lived the life they wanted and are now at peace. These thoughts though will not help a person with a phobia of death and can really only be resolved with therapy.

Post # 12
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kmarie719:  I have exactly these same feelings. I can be driving home from work and it will just hit me and I have to tell myself to stop thinking about it. Glad I’m not the only one! I’ve never told anyone about it!

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